Inner Revelations
by darklover
Summary: Set after Beneath You, Spike has told Buffy his secret now it's Buffy's turn to tell him a secret of her own, one that will change their lives.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, Joss and co. are the owners, so don't sue me I don't have any money.

**Feedback**: Reviews are appreciated so please take time to review. Flames aren't appreciated, so please do not flame.

**Summary**: This fic takes place after Beneath You (One of my favorite episodes of season 7 maybe even of all the seasons.) Spike has told Buffy his secret, now it's Buffy's turn to tell him her secret. This story will be slightly AU, well basically duh its AU, but I'm still keeping some of the Season Seven storyline.

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The glow of the moon filtered through the window, reaching her feet while her face remained in shadow just like the rest of the room. She was curled up against the pillows, wearing a pensive expression on her face. She had ran away from the church in confusion and shock to find Dawn with her arms crossed ready for an explanation of the events of the night. She had told Dawn that she would give her an explanation later in the morning because she was too tired, much to the teenager's protest and anger.

Many thoughts swam through her mind. _Spike. _The bleached vampire was back again. His departure had been a shock to her even after the attempted rape. She had never expected him to leave. He had said he'd never leave her right? He had been the only guy that wouldn't leave her no matter what, not even after the way she had treated him. Angel, Riley and even her father had left her life.

Spike was back, and she knew this time it was real. Back in the high school basement, she had thought he had been a mirage. It had been really crazy down there, and speaking of crazy, Spike had been acting just that.

He was back despite everything that occurred the past year. Back with a soul. A soul? Why would he have a soul? She had wondered and he said it was for her. A soul for her, at that moment it had been too much to comprehend. It was still a mystery to her how he had obtained a soul, and she didn't know whether it was a curse or not. Many times she had told him before that she couldn't love him because he had no soul, and now he had one, one that seemed to be driving him insane. The way he acted in the church made her heart ache, guilt had swept through her instantly.

Last year she had used him without any consent of his feelings, she had just wanted to feel and he was there for her. She knew it was wrong, he was a soulless vampire, but at that moment, all she cared about was to feel. She ended up abusing him emotionally as well as physically all for her selfish needs. She knew she had been a total bitch to him, and it made her heart ache with guilt and pain. It hurt when she had seen Anya and him at the Magic Box having sex, she couldn't understand at first why, after all she didn't love him but after much thinking she realized that a part of her cared for him even if she didn't admit it out loud. At first, she had been angry and shaken after the attempted rape, but she had come to realize that all her actions had led him to that desperate act, and seeing the regret in his eyes led her to believe that it hadn't been his intention to come and try to rape her. Yet something caused him to snap like that. And over time she forgave him, but she wasn't ready to tell him that.

After the near apocalypse with Willow, she had time to think about all the recent events that occurred in her life, and it was then that she had made all those realizations when an important discovery was made. She had been feeling sick, throwing up every morning, but she ignored it thinking it was some kind of flu and it would soon pass. Dawn had found out and had insisted that she go to the doctor. Reluctantly, she went when her sister threatened to get Xander to help with the convincing. Her visit to the doctor seemed to be going real well, at least that's the way it seemed until the end. The doctor came into the room with a clipboard in hand, Buffy expected the doctor to give her a prescription for the flu, but what she received instead was unexpected news.

The doctor told her that she was pregnant. She had been in complete shock, and numb at the time of the news. She couldn't believe that she was pregnant, she had only been with Spike, who was a vampire and couldn't possibly impregnate her. Yet somehow he did, and she hadn't realized her missed periods with all the stuff that went with her life as the Slayer. She had been angry at times, feeling that she didn't want the child growing inside her. But as soon as she considered the thought of abortion it fled her mind, she knew that she could never do that. Fear had enveloped her during the last two months, making her wonder how she was going to be a mother and a Slayer and her child have no father. Dawn and Xander, knew nothing of her pregnancy, she hadn't dared to tell them. She knew she couldn't hide the truth from them forever, since her pregnancy would soon start to show. She was about to enter her third month of pregnancy. It was time to tell the truth to her friends including the father. She wasn't eager to do that, but she knew she had to.

**A/N:** I guess this chapter was short, but more will be on the way. Please review!


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't any of the characters from BTVS, Joss, ME, and UPN are the owners. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun, so don't sue me.

**Feedback: **Thanks to everyone that reviewed, I really appreciated. Please keep on reviewing! Please do not flame.

**A/N**: Hey, Spygrrl in answer to your question, yes I'm playing with the timeline. Let's just say that the start of season seven came sooner than in the show.

* * *

The next morning Dawn walked in the kitchen to find Buffy finished with making breakfast. Some toast that was burnt slightly was on the island along with some orange juice, milk, and several boxes of cereal.

"Morning. You're up early." Dawn said as she took a seat.

Buffy looked up from reading the back of a cereal box. "Oh hey Dawnie. Did you know this cereal has way too much sugar?

"No, but that explains why it tastes so good," Dawn grinned. She then gestured to the selection of cereals in front of her. "What's with the showcase of cereals? I didn't know we were going to have the judging today, but I'll have to go with Sunny and his Cocoa Puffs."

Dawn grabbed the box and began to empty its contents into the bowl that was already filled with milk. Buffy filled a glass with orange juice and began to drink it slowly. She didn't dare look at Dawn who already had a questioning look in her eyes, but still hadn't voiced her thoughts.

She had been up for the since five am and now it was seven. Her sleep hadn't been too restful, she had been tossing and turning parts of the night, since she couldn't stop thinking about how she was finally going to break the news to everyone. And the morning sickness had been just another reminder of what was inside her and the urgency of telling the truth to everyone.

"So…what happened last night? Are you finally going to clue me in on your life?" Dawn asked, breaking the silence with her cold tone.

Buffy stopped drinking and placed her glass on the island. " Dawn, I.. I know you're mad, I'm sorry about not telling you before about…"

"Spike," Dawn finished for her. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were sisters in full share mode now. I guess not."

"We are sisters in share mode it's just that I thought that Spike hadn't been real." Buffy explained.

Dawn lifted an eyebrow. "Not real? He looked perfectly real to me yesterday."

"In the basement remember? Real crazy down there. I thought he was some kind of ghost or something. That's why I thought I had imagined the whole thing and didn't say anything about it," She gave her sister an apologetic smile.

Dawn nodded a couple of seconds later. "Okay fine, I get that. I guess I forgive you. No more hiding anything right?"

The older sister looked down at the island rubbing it absently. She didn't say anything.

"There's something else isn't there? What is it Buffy? You can tell me anything remember?"

Buffy took a deep breath and then looked up to find herself under her sister's intense gaze. "I'm pregnant." Her voice was so low that she almost thought her sister hadn't heard her.

"What? Pregnant?" Dawn stared at her in shock, dropping her spoon, which clattered into her bowl.

Buffy could only nod.

Her sister's mouth opened and closed like a fish's mouth for a few minutes before she could say anything else.

"Oh my God. You're having a baby. What? How? Eww no details. I mean who's the father? Last time I checked you were single, so how…" Dawn babbled.

Bracing herself Buffy took another deep breath. " I'm single. Well, you, see the father is…. Spike."

Buffy immediately averted her gaze from Dawn's. The seconds seem to last into eternity before any discussion followed. Buffy felt her heart start beating nervously as she anticipated her sister's response, which would most likely be angry.

"Spike. When? But you said that you didn't think he was real and…Did he force you?" Dawn looked at her sister with a cold gaze. Ever since she had found out that Spike had tried to rape her sister she had been angry at the vampire and was mixed up with her emotions about him.

"No. God no." Buffy shook her head, shocked that her sister had even suggested that. "No, this was before when I …he…were together."

Hearing this made Dawn ask the next question. "How long have you known?"

Buffy fidgeted. " About two months or so."

"Why now? Why didn't you tell me sooner? That's why you threw up all the time. You're

still throwing up aren't you?"

Buffy nodded. She had purposely been hiding that she was still vomiting during the mornings and other times. "I didn't want to tell you because… I couldn't face you yet. It was too hard."

"Why? I'm your sister and Xander is your friend."

Buffy gave Dawn a look when she mentioned Xander.

"I thought you guys would freak or something. I mean, God knows Xander has never liked Spike. He hates him. A-And you aren't too far behind now to jump on that bandwagon."

Dawn breathed in deeply."I'm still your sister and I know Xander is probably going to have trouble dealing but I want you to know I'm here for you. I'm so ready to take on the auntness thing. And about Spike does he know?"

Buffy shook his head. "You're the first," she murmured softly. Part of her felt relieved that her sister seemed to have taken it somewhat well. The other part was still filled with anxiety and worry, because she still had more people to spread the word to.

That made Dawn feel happy for just a moment. She was the first to know, that was just so cool. That only lessened the anger about her sister hiding it for like two months or so.

"Do you love Spike?" Dawn asked, her voice unemotional.

Buffy paused for a moment before answering. "No. I don't love him. But…I f-feel for him."

Dawn took the answer without further questions or comments about that. "Wait a minute how are you pregnant? Spike's a vampire, they're not supposed to you know…"

"I'm not sure how it even happened. It's not supposed to be possible. But I'm, you know pregnant. I haven't been with anyone else."

"Okay. There must be some kind of reason why it happened." Dawn reasoned, wrinkling her brow.

Buffy nodded in agreement, afraid of the reason why it happened. She had no idea why this happened. This just couldn't be possible, but for some reason it had occurred.

"I never did get what happened between you and Spike. He tried to you know, rape you.."

"Let me explain," Buffy continued to give her a PG version of what had happened in the time she been sleeping with Spike. She had never really explained to her sister her relationship with Spike.

Once she was done, Dawn began to yell at her. "How could you use him? Y-You hurt him and he almost hurt you. I can't talk about this, I.."

There was a knock at the kitchen door and then it opened to reveal Xander. "Morning ladies," he gave them his usual grin.

Dawn didn't say anything just left the room and returned shortly with her back pack and stormed out through the open door.

"Okay, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. What's wrong with her?" He questioned.

"You know teenagers. One day they treat you nice and the next day they hate you. They're just so you know moody. Today's not a good mood," Buffy made up an excuse.

"I can tell. Yum, some toast." He reached for the toast and began to eat it.

"Ready to head out to another day of Hellmouth High?" Xander asked, after he finished eating the toast.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah."

She followed Xander out the door and to his car where Dawn was already seated with her arms crossed over her chest in defiance.

* * *

During the school day, Buffy had seen various students with regular problems such as advice on how to ask someone out, bad behavior issues and all sorts of things. The final bell buzzed and the final student left her 'office' as she liked to call it, which was really a cubicle. Finally, she was done with helping out people with their problems; it was time for her to face her own. Sighing, she made sure nobody was looking her way and headed for the door that was marked 'Basement.' Stopping near the stairs, she let her eyes adjust to the darkness.

"Spike," she called out into the darkness. After several more calls, he still didn't appear. Sensing that he wasn't even near, she left the dank room.

As soon as she got home, Buffy went to the shower, to let herself relax. An hour later she was done and in her bedroom looking out the window. There was a soft knock on her door.

"Come in," Buffy said.

Dawn walked in with hesitant steps and sat beside her sister. She began to play with the end of a string on the bedspread.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you before. I was just in shock and really angry. Spike was my friend and he loved you and you just…used him. And I got really mad at him because of the whole almost rape thing and I even threatened him and stuff. A-And you're pregnant with h-his baby. It was just too much to handle," Dawn told her sister.

"It's okay. I know it's a lot of stuff to take in at one time. I don't blame you for being mad at me. I know what I did was wrong and what he did tried to do was wrong. But I can't do anything to change the past," Buffy stated.

"Anybody home?" the voice that belonged to their friend came from downstairs.

"Yes," Dawn yelled, then turned to her sister. "I guess you haven't told him yet. If I were would you I would tell him now, 'cause he seems to be in a good mood."

The younger Summers left the room, leaving the elder feeling nervous. Buffy left the room a couple of minutes later and found Xander seated at the couch along with Dawn.

"Hey Xander," she greeted her best friend.

"Hiya, Buffster."

"Dawn, don't you have any homework to do?" Buffy asked pointedly.

Dawn looked away from the television. "No, I finished it." then seeing her sister's pointed expression she said, "Wait a minute, I did forget to do that algebra assignment. I'll go do it, in the room. Now."

She hurried away and climbed up the stairs. Hearing the door slam, Buffy took a seat next to Xander.

"Xander we have to talk," the Slayer said.

"I'm all ears. Does this have to do with anything of last night's events?" Xander asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No, it doesn't have to do with slaying."

"Okay, gotcha. What do you want to talk about then?" Xander prompted.

Buffy looked at Xander, and then took a deep breath. _Here it goes_, she thought. "It's about me. I-I-I'm pregnant."


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any the BTVS characters, if I did then Spike wouldn't be a ghost on Angel and there would have been a season eight of BTVS with lots of Spuffiness. Sadly that only happens in my dreams, the characters belong to Joss, UPN and any other companies involved.

**Feedback:** I'm really amazed at how many reviews I've gotten so far. I'm really glad that u guys are liking the story and I hope you keep reviewing and reading. Thank you so much.

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"It's about me. I-I-I'm pregnant." Buffy told him, and waited for the inevitable barrage of questions and outbursts of most likely anger.

Xander froze. He didn't move or blink for a moment. It seemed to take a lot of effort for him to finally speak. "Real funny. You almost had me going there. So what did you really want to talk about?"

Denial, that was so typical of Xander. "I'm not joking. I'm serious. I'm pregnant," she answered.

Xander looked at her stunned. "What? How? I mean I know how. But with who? Who's the father?"

"Spike," she replied.

She watched as Xander clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. His face no longer held that confused look, it was replaced by something completely different.

"Spike? As in Captain peroxide? The guy, or rather thing that tried to rape you. How could this happen? " Xander looked utterly disgusted.

Buffy didn't even have time to answer, because Xander continued on with his rant."He forced you didn't he? I'm going to kill that son of-"

"Xander," Buffy interrupted. "He didn't force me. It was before when we …"

Xander took in the information. "Why didn't you say anything before? Wait a minute, I thought vamps weren't supposed to be able to have kids."

Buffy looked down at the floor. "They aren't. It just happened. "

"I guess, this is what you get for sleeping around with the undead. Miracle hell spawn," He stated angrily.

Buffy looked up at him, stunned by his words. She couldn't believe he had just referred to her unborn child as miracle hell spawn. Tears threatened to spill along with the urge to slap him.

Xander stood and headed for the front door. " I can't do this right now. I have to go. I can't believe you're having _h-his_ kid. A soulless evil vampire."

"He's not soulless." Buffy muttered as he slammed the door, upon his exit.

"What do you mean not soulless?" Dawn appeared at the foot of the stairs. "Sorry, but I kinda heard the last part. I was going to get some water, not coming to eavesdrop."

Dawn walked over and sat beside her sister. She patted her sister's back in a comforting way. " I guess, Xand didn't take the news well huh?"

Buffy nodded.

"I'm sure he'll change his mind. You'll see," Dawn tried to make her sister feel better.

"I hope so, Dawnie. About Spike not being soulless, it's true. He has a soul."

"How?" Dawn wondered.

Buffy told her how she knew of it, but also that she didn't really know the two sisters were silent for a few minutes. When Dawn looked at her sister, she had tears streaming down her face. Dawn had hardly ever seen her sister cry before, and it scared her a little. In attempt to comfort Buffy, the younger Summers hugged her. "Everything's going to be fine," she tried to assure her.

The next day Buffy went to the basement. It was dark and smelled of dust and stale air. Buffy walked down the creaky stairs and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness before venturing further. "Spike," she called out into the shadows.

She strained her eyes when she heard something being mumbled. Walking quickly in the direction she heard something, she found a form kneeling by a large wooden box.

"Spike?" she asked tentatively.

He looked up from his kneeling position. She could tell that it was him from what she could make out and the familiar tingling she had whenever he was near.

"I'm a bad man. Should be punished. Need to be punished." She heard him mutter.

"I see you're still not well. Spike, it's me. Buffy."

"Buffy?" He said the name as if barely recognizing it. "I hurt her," he murmured, after he seemed to recognize the name.

"Spike, I have something to tell you. It's important." She announced, awaiting his reaction to her words. After telling only two of her friends, it still hadn't gotten easier. She still hadn't talked to Xander even during the morning ride which had been a silent one all the way to the school.

He looked at her as if he were waiting for her to go on. Summoning all her strength she stated. "I'm having a baby." Then after seeing his blank expression, she added. "Your baby."

"A baby?" Spike repeated. "Sweet little ones aren't they? They cry, eat, take nappies, and need diapy changes. But they're still cute. Very cute indeed. Mums love 'em, because they're so innocent. All innocent, not like me." He cast his eyes downward.

Buffy looked at him like he had grown two heads. "Okay, I wasn't expecting this," she said to herself as Spike continued talking to himself rather than her.

"I'm bad man. Not innocent at all. Not like a child, all untouched and angelic." He began to slam his head against the wall repeatedly.

"Spike stop!" She told him after she had seen enough. She reached forward trying to pull him away from the wall. He ducked out of her reach. When she tried to touch his arm, he pushed her away.

"Don't touch me. Not worthy. Leave me," He growled as he huddled close to wall, trying to get as far away as possible from her.

Buffy stared at him for a minute. She didn't understand why Spike was going insane in the basement. There had to be something down there that was making him insane or was it the soul? She wasn't sure but she had to find out soon. _Great, the baby's father is not only an ensouled vampire but not to mention an insane ensouled vamp_, she thought as she walked up the steps.

After returning to her cubicle to counsel a few more students, she began to pack her stuff when the bell rang at 3 pm. Opening the door to her house, she strode in and closed it. She took off her coat and turned to find Xander seated on the couch.

"Hey, where's Dawn?" Xander greeted.

"She's with friends," Buffy said nonchalantly.

Then as quickly as it had come her nonchalant manner disappeared. She looked at him expectantly, not sure what to say.

"Buffy, we need to talk. About the way I…"

"Xander let me talk first. I didn't really get to say much yesterday did I? I should have said something but I didn't really get the chance, since you left. Look, I know you don't like Spike, but I'm having his baby whether you like it or not. I want you to still be my friend, but if my being pregnant really bothers you enough to ruin our friendship, then I guess we aren't friends anymore."

Xander sighed, "I know I acted bad and said things I shouldn't have said yesterday. But you know me, I'm not a Spike fan. I've had some time to think and I realized that as a friend I should be supporting you not bringing you down. I'm really sorry."

He looked at her apologetically. Buffy knew it must have taken a lot of effort for him to think it over.

"Friends?" he asked tentatively.

Buffy nodded and hugged him. As he hugged her he whispered, "The baby is part of you, so it isn't that bad. Only the Spike part."

Buffy noticed the glint in his eyes that meant he was teasing and just glared at him in mock annoyance.

A/N: I bet you guys are thinking this chapter sucked. I tried the best I could do and this is what I came up with. I might edit it later but for now this is how it stays.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Don't own a thing, so don't sue. Joss, UPN, and ME own the beautiful characters of BTVS.

**Feedback:** Please review, it's what keeps me writing! Thanks so much to those who are reviewing! Please do not flame.

* * *

Buffy made her way through the cemetery trying to find something to kill since the past hour had been lacking action. She sighed, wishing that a demon would pop out any minute. It had just been a couple of hours since Xander had come over to her house and talked to her. He still was not happy at the idea of her being pregnant with a vampire's child, but he was willing to give her support. He had asked her the same question that Dawn had asked, did she love him? She had simply told him no, which was true but she couldn't help but hear a nagging voice in her head remind her that there was a part of her that cared for him.

When she told Xander she was heading for patrol, he asked when she was going to quit doing that, after all being pregnant and fighting was not the smart thing to do. She had told him that she didn't know. She had often thought about that but she just couldn't face thinking about it yet. She was a Slayer, her job was to slay vampires and she wasn't exactly prepared to take a break from it. It seemed like such a long time ago that she used to complain about slaying, but in recent years she had come to almost enjoy it. Well she enjoyed the regular fights not the apocalyptic fights, which mostly resulted in somebody's death, mainly her own, at least twice it had been.

Buffy stopped when she saw a hand shooting up from the ground of one of the nearby tombstones. Shortly, a newly risen vampire had clawed its way through its coffin and dirt, just as she had a year and a couple of months before. She shook away the memories that threatened to take over her, and whipped out her stake. The fledging noticed her as soon as it finished dusting itself off, his face shifted to that of a demon and let out an inhuman growl.

"Hello, so how was your day? Besides being turned into a vamp and coming out of your coffin?" Buffy said conversationally, to which the vampire just growled in response, studying her.

The vampire then jumped forward trying to knock her on to the ground, but he missed by an inch, because she moved just in time. Turning to find him on the ground she said, "I guess you're just hungry aren't ya? Right, so how about we skip meal time and you go straight to nap time?"

Before the vamp could make a move she landed on top of him, landing a punch in his face, he squirmed under her and pushed out of the way. She quickly got back on her feet, and avoided some of the punches the vamp threw, but she was hit square in the jaw, which sent her reeling onto the floor. The vamp approached her, but as he tried to make in a move, he froze for a moment then burst into ashes. Buffy coughed, waited for the ashes to clear, and then stood, clutching the stake to her hand.

A few minutes later into her walk, she turned sensing someone behind her.

"What are you doing here Spike?" She asked, sounding harsher than she meant to. It was her automatic tone whenever he was around, and it was hard to stop.

"Out for a walk," He replied, leaning casually against a tombstone.

He seemed to have gain his sanity back, which was good in a way, but bad because it meant she had to deal with him. She didn't know what was worse dealing with insane Spike or sane Spike. She wasn't even sure if he remembered her confession earlier in the basement.

"I guess walks really do clear minds," Buffy said.

Spike looked at her then said, "I suppose they do. I'm feelin' rather sane at the moment."

Buffy nodded. "I can tell. Which is good for you. And you should keep walking 'cause it's working and I'll just be on my way, finishing patrol."

She started to walk away from him. She had decided that she wasn't ready to talk to him yet, the sudden nervousness had overwhelmed her.

"Buffy wait, we need to talk," his British voice rang through the otherwise silent night.

She paused in mid step and froze, wondering what he wanted to talk about. Not turning to face him yet she asked, "About?"

He didn't speak for a moment. "About earlier. I might I've been out of my mind, but if memory serves you came to the basement didn't you? Took a while to get my mind all sorted it out to realize that it was actually you that came to the basement and talked to me. I'm right?"

Buffy turned and almost let the word no escaped her lips. Bracing herself for the rest of the talk she answered, "Yes, I did go to the basement earlier."

She walked towards him, standing a few feet away from him.

"Good to know that I'm not fully out of my mind. But then again, I really must be off my rocker, 'cause I heard you saying that you were pregnant with my child." He let out a humorless laugh.

She forced her gaze on him and said, "You're not totally insane, because it's true. I'm pregnant with your child."

His showed surprise only for a moment, then another emotion stirred in them. He narrowed his eyes and his mouth was set in a thin line.

"Sorry, but you must be mistaken, saying that you're pregnant with my child. Don't think I need to remind you, but vamps can't father kids. It's bloody impossible. My little ones aren't alive and kickin' if you know what I mean."

Pausing for a moment, he went on not bothering to wait for her explanation. "Didn't take you long to move on, huh? Had an itch that you couldn't scratch by yourself, didn't cha? Let me guess Captain Cardboard showed up again, this time for a little demon huntin' in your bed or maybe it was that git, Richard. Wasn't what you wanted, though was it? Got left with a little something extra."

He watched as her eyes narrowed and the next thing he knew, her fist met his jaw and an audible smack echoed throughout the cemetery.

He rubbed his aching jaw. "Truth hurts doesn't it, love."

"How dare you?" She fumed. "I did not sleep with any of them and why would I be telling you it's your child if it wasn't? It's yours, I haven't been with anyone else since…I don't have a clue on how and why it happened, but it did."

Her eyes were what finally made him realize she was actually being sincere, along with her words. The information took a few minutes to sink in before his brain could let his mouth make any type of noise. He was going to be a father, something that was not supposed to be possible. He, being a vampire, could not, was not supposed to be able to father a child. The woman he loved was the mother, something that he could have only thought up in dreams. She didn't love him and probably never would. Most likely, she probably didn't even want his child. He blinked as if that would help stop the millions of thoughts appearing in his head at that moment.

"So, you planning on getting rid of it?" Spike finally spoke.

Buffy's eyes widened slightly for a moment. What the hell? She had never expected Spike to even suggest that. Certain times it had crossed her mind that maybe he didn't even want the baby, but she had quickly tried to dismiss the idea. After all, even if he wasn't here for her, she would have to take care of her child anyway. It was already decided, she was keeping the baby.

"What? No. I could never… How could you even say that? Is that what you want me to do?" Buffy asked him.

Spike internally was glad that she hadn't said yes. Well he had doubted it that she would but he couldn't help but check. "I just thought that's what you wanted to do, considerin' this kid's a part of me and you don't want any part of me."

"I know this baby is part of you and m-me too. I'm keeping it. A-A-nd, if you want to be there for the baby, then you can 'cause, well I know how it feels to not really have a dad be there for you. This does not mean we're together though."

Spike nodded in understanding, surprised that the Slayer had even suggested that he could play a role in his baby's life even in if they weren't together. He was preparing himself for the speech of 'you better not come near my baby or me or I'll stake you.'

"It's late, I better get home," she announced and quickly left without further word.

When Buffy entered the house, the phone was ringing. She ran and managed to get the phone on time. She wondered who would be calling at 1 am in the morning,

"Hello?"

After a few minutes, she replaced the receiver on the handle. Dawn appeared at the top of the stairs.

She rubbed her still sleepy eyes. "Who was it?"

"It was the coven, the one Willow's been attending. They say she's coming home." Buffy informed her.


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Do I own BTVS? *laughs* Of course I do. Okay, fine I only own them in my dreams. Joss, UPN, and ME are the owners of BTVS not me, happy?

**Feedback:** Thanks to all to those who reviewed. Thanks Leanne8582, for your comments and yeah I do have to work on writing fighting scenes, which I always dread to write. I'll be sure to check out that fic you mentioned.

**A/N:** This chapter is set after Same Time, Same Place, meaning that the events of Willow's arrival happened like on the show except that Buffy did not get scratched by the Gnarl in her abdomen. Oh and Anya is still not aware of the news that Buffy is pregnant. In future chapters I will use references to the episodes in the show or write in scenes from the show except I will add original stuff to 'em. I will not include all the episodes, I'll try to write more of my original scenes.

* * *

The red headed Wiccan glanced out her window, taking in the view of the world bathed in golden sun light. Peaceful, that's the way it looked, unlike the jumble of emotions within her. She was back home. Home, yeah that's where she was. A place that made her feel so much. This was the place where she had been happy with her friends and girlfriend, but then again it had also been the place where she had felt so much grief during the loss of one of her friends, and now her lover. Except the grief for her friend, Buffy, had only been temporary because now she was alive. Tara unlike Buffy was gone forever and there was nothing she could do about it.

At the coven, they had helped her deal with her pain as well as taught her how to control her powers. The pain was still there, but also the acceptance of what had happened. She sighed, as she leaned back against the pillows. She didn't really want to think anymore, she had a lot of time to think back at the coven. Yesterday, she had been so afraid that her friends wouldn't accept her, that she had inadvertently cast a spell, that made her invisible to her friends and vice versa. When she was at the hands of the Gnarl, she had been more afraid of what the demon had told her than dying. Luckily, she now knew the truth. Her friends did care about her. Now, she was finally free of the thoughts that her friends didn't want her to come home. Except, now the thoughts of guilt were what remained in her mind.

She closed her eyes for a second, then opened them as quickly as she had closed them. She had heard something that sounded like gagging. Maybe it was Buffy back from the grocery store or maybe it was Dawn. She slid off her bed and left her room, walking softly towards the bathroom door.

She knocked on the door. "Buffy is that you? Or is it Dawnie? Are you okay?"

There was no reply, but Willow waited until the bathroom door opened, revealing Buffy.

"I'm okay, Wills. "

"Are you s-sure? It sounded like you were throwing up. Maybe you got the flu or something. Even if you are the Slayer, and have all those extra healing powers you aren't immune to illness," Willow said concerned. "M-Maybe you should go to a doctor or…"

"Willow," Buffy interrupted her friend. "It's okay. I already went to a doctor."

"You did?" Willow asked surprised.

Buffy nodded.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" Willow asked worriedly.

"No, nothing's really wrong with me. It's just that well,uh… Maybe, we should talk about this in your room okay?" Buffy said, and lead the way towards the room.

Once they entered the room, Willow went straight to her bed and sat in the middle, cross legged. Buffy sat on the edge of the bed facing Willow.

"So, uh, what's going on with you exactly?" Willow asked.

"Well, you see… I'm pregnant." Buffy stated.

The red head eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped her mouth. "P-P-Pregnant?" Willow managed to squeak out that one word. Buffy nodded, unable to say more.

"Pregnant. Oh, uh, oh that's so, uh, oh…"

"Is that an oh, I don't know what to say or an oh, look what you've gotten yourself into kind of oh?"

"Well, yes and no. I mean, it was a oh, I don't know what to say, I'm in shock kinda of oh. B-but not the other type of oh. Oh goddess, this is just wow. Y-You're pregnant, that's, well really unexpected."

"I know," Buffy said.

"But see this is normal." Willow said, receiving a confused look from Buffy. "I mean, well, you're finally getting to do something normal. You've always said, that you wanted to do normal things in life and this is one of them. I don't think a Slayer has probably had a chance to have a baby before. Buffy you're really lucky."

"I guess," Buffy considered. Her best friend's support was quite shocking and overwhelming, but was glad to know that her friend was there for her.

"Except well the pregnancy is not so much of a normal pregnancy, see the father it's um, Spike."

"S-Spike? He's a vampire, they can't well you know. You're right it's not a normal pregnancy." Willow replied.

"Are you and Spike together?" Willow asked. She didn't know much about Buffy's relationship with Spike, except that they had been seeing each other secretly. And from what it seemed from the night she found out, they had broken up.

"No, we're not."

"Oh, but are you keeping the baby?"

"Yes, I couldn't get rid of it. As much as this scares me, I do want to keep the baby. Like you said, this is something normal at least for regular humans it is… B-But I don't think I can give this baby a normal life, I mean I'm the Slayer, not your average human."

"And the hell mouth is all rumbly again," Willow added. Seeing the Slayer's face she quickly apologized, "Sorry."

"See, not a normal life. I don't know if I could do this. It's too much, with Dawn a-and trying to pay bills and slaying duties."

"You're not alone. You have me, I can be all helpful and there's Dawn and uh, Xander. How did he take the news?" Willow wondered.

"Not so good, at first, but now he's willing to support me."

"That's good."

Buffy nodded. Neither spoke for a few minutes. Willow didn't want to pressure her friend into explaining the details of her relationship with blonde vampire, but she wanted to know one thing at least.

"Do you love him? Spike, I mean. It's okay if you do, b-but it's not bad if you don't."

"I don't l-love him. I think I c-care about him though."

Willow seemed satisfied with that and Buffy was glad that there were no further questions related to that topic. She didn't even make a comment about Spike being insane, as the conversation progressed, eventually steering into different topics that didn't have anything to do with themselves personally.

* * *

Willow looked across at the endless green grass in front of her where some people were kneeling and then turned back her attention to Xander.

"So the hell mouth's acting up again huh? 'From beneath you, it devours.' It's not the friendliest jingle, is it? It's no "I like Ike" or "Milk, it does a body good." Xander said trying to change the topic. The previous topic had been about Willow's magick problems.

"Yeah, I know. And now that Buffy's pregnant that's really not good," the red head added.

"Yeah, well the hell mouth is not exactly known for its perfect timing in deciding when to have an apocalypse. Whenever it wants to blow up, it sends the signal by having it rain toads or giant snakes. It may be Christmas, or during the Super Bowl, but when it wants to blow up, it's gonna blow up."

"Yeah, but this time it should wait a little while longer."

Xander sighed. "So, Buffy told you she's pregnant? Pregnant with that t-thing's kid. I can't believe it. It just makes me so angry I…"

"Xander, I know you've never liked Spike, but you've got to accept that he is the father of Buffy's child. I know it's hard, but it's going to be even harder on Buffy if you aren't there for her. I know how it is to feel like you don't have support, no solid ground. I thought you guys weren't going to be my solid ground anymore after all I did the last time I was here in Sunnydale. But I was wrong, you guys are still here for me being my solid ground and Buffy needs that too. She needs all the support she can get."

"You're right. I realized that too, the day she told me, after I came to my senses that is. As a good friend, I need to support her in everything and that's what I'm going to try to do. Uh, we're here are you ready?" Xander stopped walking and turned to the red head, who nodded in response.

She walked away from him heading for the grassy field and stopped when she reached the spot where a tombstone stood. She kneeled in front of it, placed two stones on top of it and traced the engraved letters with one of her fingers. It read: Tara Maclay. October 16,1980-May 7,2002.

"Hey baby, it's me." Willow said.


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't any BTVS characters, Joss and associates are the owners. If I owned them then I would be writing for the show and not here.

**Feedback:** Please review! It is what keeps me writing more!

**A/N:** This chapter is long. Sorry about that if you don't like long chapters. I was almost going to continue adding to it but I decided to leave it at that. I realized that maybe I shouldn't have done it this long, but oh well. I will update tomorrow, because right now I don't have time. The quotes from the show are from the Hellmouth Central site, which is a really good site for quotes.

* * *

Dawn walked in through the open door of Willow's room, where she found the red head placing some books on a nightstand. Willow turned and smiled at the teen. Dawn hadn't really talked much to Willow, ever since her return, a week ago. Mainly because she had been too busy hanging out with her friends

"Hey, Dawnie," Willow greeted.

"Uh, hi. Whatcha doing?" Dawn asked.

"Oh, I'm just getting my stuff together for tomorrow. First day back, to college that is," Willow explained, as she sat down on her bed.

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that. Nervous?"

Willow looked thoughtful for a moment then said, "Kinda."

"Don't worry I'm sure everything will be fine. My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else says, all the time."

"Got it."

"Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says," Dawn added.

"Uh, thanks Dawn. I'll keep that in mind. I've been to college before so I think I can manage."

"So do you need any help with anything?" Dawn asked.

"With socks." Willow held up some socks that were on her bed. "I need to finish folding my clothes and I still have the socks to do." She pointed to a basket on the floor, beside her bed.

Dawn looked at the basket, as if she would rather not help but then said, "I'll help."

She walked over to the bed, grabbed some socks from the basket, and sat beside Willow. Dawn finished one pair then reached for another.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Willow said. "You probably have something better to do than helping me with my socks."

"No, I-It's okay. Really," Dawn replied, finishing another pair of socks.

They worked silently for a couple of minutes, until the basket was cleared of socks. Then they placed the neatly folded socks, which were arranged by color into an empty drawer.

"Thanks," Willow told Dawn, after they were done.

"No problemo," The teen smiled.

Seconds passed before Willow spoke. "Um, Dawnie, I have something to say. I'm s-sorry about what I said when you know…what I almost tried to do. I didn't mean it, I was.."

Dawn stopped staring at the bed and looked at Willow. "It's okay, Wills. I get that you were all Evil Willow when you said that, 'cause you had gotten too much magic in you or whatever. A-at first I was mad a-and sad but now I'm not that much. I j-just hope you don't go all Evil Willow again."

"I hope so too. I really don't want to go there again either. I'm starting to get better at controlling my powers, but I still need more practice." Willow was glad that Dawn wasn't really mad at her anymore. It really meant a lot to her.

"Um, Willow, I was um, sort of glad when you uh…did that to Warren. I know it was wrong, but he k-killed _her_," Dawn confessed. She couldn't go on explaining anymore, but Willow understood.

"It was wrong… I s-s-houldn't have done that. I understand why you felt that way."

"Are you mad at me?" Dawn asked, afraid that Willow was mad at her.

"No, I, of course not." Willow shook her head.

"So we're still friends?"

Willow nodded. Dawn scooted closer to her, and enveloped her in a hug, which Willow returned.

"Can I get a hug too?" Buffy appeared at the doorway.

* * *

Buffy entered the school basement, and heard a familiar British voice talking. She paused as she heard his conversation. She didn't see anybody other than Spike in the room.

"I could never ask," she heard him say to himself, apparently it was a conversation with himself.

Unable to stand him talking to himself any longer she made her presence known, stepping into view where he could see her. "Spike. This basement is killing you. This is the Hellmouth. There is something bad down here. Possibly everything bad."

Spike looked at her as if barely noticing her, and then began to laugh like a lunatic. " Can't hear you, can't hear you."

Buffy glared at him. She was really starting to get annoyed with his insanity. "You have a soul? Fine show me."

"Scream montresor all you want, pet," was all Spike said.

"Get up and go out of this basement," she ordered.

"I don't have nowhere else to," he mumbled.

Buffy stared at him for a moment, then left him alone.

* * *

Willow watched as her professor went to take care of some things she had to do. She was glad everything was settled about her classes at UC Sunnydale. Sighing, she spotted a familiar face coming from one of the frat houses on campus. It was Anya dressed in a long tan coat that covered most of her body.

"Hey, Anya," Willow called her over.

Anya walked over and stopped in front of her. "Um, hi Willow," she said, pulling the jacket closer to her body.

"I was just uh, talking to one of my professors. Trying to get back into my old classes, you know. It's been tiring going from professor to professor, but I'm done. Whew, boy I'm glad. The hard part is going to be the studying and…" Willow babbled.

Anya nodded in agreement. She really wanted to leave, but she couldn't. How much longer was Willow going to talk? If she talked too much, she was going to explode. She needed to be as far away as possible from here. She wanted to go home now.

"So what are you doing here?" Willow questioned.

"Me? Oh, uh I just came from seeing my new boyfriend. He lives here," Anya nodded towards the frat house. "We just finished having lots and lots of sex."

Willow gave her a smile. "Um, that's good that you moved on. I'm happy for you."

Anya nodded again, and pulled a strand of hair away from her face. Willow stared at Anya's fingers and noticed some blood smeared on them. Anya quickly brushed away the hair away from her face.

"So uh,.." Willow began nervously. Something was obviously wrong here, but she couldn't put her on finger on it yet, so to speak.

"I have to go now. I have many time consuming errands to run today. I'll see you another day," Anya left without another word after Willow gave a little wave.

Willow watched as Anya left the school grounds. After she was sure the brunette had left, she made her way to the frat house. She opened the door and walked into the room.

"Hello? Anybody home?" She called out but received no answer.

Looking down on the floor, she noticed blood splattered on the ground which lead to a door. Walking past the furniture, which was also covered in blood, she opened the large double doors and stepped into the room. She left the room quickly disgusted with the sight she had found there. There had been several corpses of college boys whose hearts had been ripped out of their rib cage literally. _Oh, God who did this?_ She wondered. She had a sinking feeling about this.

Suddenly Willow heard whimpering noises. Willow walked in the direction of the noises, until she came in front of a closet in the main room. She opened the door to find a girl sitting on the closet floor, sobbing over and over, "I take it back."

Willow knelt down so that she was at the girl's level. The girl's cheeks were streaked with tears and her eyes were red from all the crying she had done. The girl wouldn't look at Willow, her gaze remained fixated on what was behind the red head.

"What happened?" Willow asked.

The girl managed to explain what had occurred last night. She told her about what happened between her and her boyfriend, the way he had announced their break up in front of everyone. It had been a trick to get her to come to the party, so that he could break up with her in front of his fraternity brothers so that they could get a laugh. She had felt so bad that she wished aloud that they could feel what if felt like to have their hearts ripped out.

"Oh," It dawned on Willow what had happened. "What did this?"

"A s-spider," The girl sputtered.

Just then a large demonic spider jumped from the ceiling towards Willow. Quickly, she mumbled something creating a shield, protecting her from the spider. Angered the spider tried to bite through the shield but it found that it couldn't. The girl started to whimper again.

"God, would you shut your whimpering mouth?" Willow snapped at the girl. The girl shrunk back into the closet noticing the Witch's normally green eyes turn into a dark black.

Ignoring the girl's cries, Willow turned to the spider and threw it out a nearby window using magick. She blinked as her eyes returned to their normal green color.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I just…" Willow apologized to the girl. What had happened? She hadn't meant to say that, so what had caused her to react like that? Shaking away her thoughts, she gave the girl a hand to help her stand.

Once she was done helping the girl, she went to a nearby telephone booth. She slipped the money into the slot and dialed the number of Buffy's office at Sunnydale High. In only one ring, she heard her friend pick up.

"Hi, Buffy." Willow said and continued to explain what she had seen.

* * *

After taking care of the spider demon with Willow's tip on where to find it, Buffy and Xander returned to the Summers' residence.

"We have to do some research to find out where that thing came from," Buffy said as she closed the door behind her.

"Okay," Xander agreed.

"I know where it came from," announced Willow from her place on the sofa. Her expression was serious none of her usual cheeriness was there.

Xander and Buffy noticed for the first time that Willow was there. Xander walked over and asked, "You do?'

Willow nodded and took a deep breath. Uneasily, she began her explanation of who had ordered the Crimslaw demon to kill all those frat boys. She briefly mentioned her little visit to Anya's apartment.

Xander stared at the red head after she finished her explanation. "When were you planning on telling us?" He demanded angrily.

"I'm telling you now," Willow said defensively.

Before he could say anything else, Buffy interrupted. "She didn't tell us because she knows what I have to do. I have to kill Anya."

Xander stared disbelievingly at the Slayer, who was also one of his best friends. He touched his ears, as if to make sure they were still intact and was hearing her right. "W-What?"

"She's not the Anya you knew, Xander. She's a demon," Buffy went along ignoring his question.

"That doesn't mean you have to kill her!" He cried out indignant.

"Don't act like this is easy for me. You know it's not."

"There are other options," he said.

"I've considered them," her voice was serious.

"When, just now? Took you all of ten seconds to decide to kill one of your best friends?" Xander shouted.

"The thought that it might come to this has occurred to me before. It's occurred to you too," She explained calmly.

Xander shook his head and suggested. "But we can change what she did, fix it. These are mystical deaths, right? There has to be something."

He turned to his attention to Willow. She could to do something, she had to. He couldn't believe this was happening. This had to be a nightmare, it just had to be.

Willow gave him an apologetic look. "I don't have anywhere near that kind of power. I didn't have that kind of power when...and I don't think I trust the power I do have."

"It's okay. Xander, I know this is hard for you to hear, but it's what I have to do." Buffy stated.

"Hard for me to hear? Buffy, you want to kill Anya!" He cried out.

"I don't want to!" Buffy shouted, exasperated.

"Then don't! This isn't new ground for us. When our friends go all crazy and start killing people, we help them." Xander reminded her.

"Sitting right here." Willow spoke.

"I'm sorry, but it's true." Xander apologized, glancing at her for a moment.

"It's different," The Slayer told him.

"Because you don't care about her the same way I do. Buffy, I still love her."

"I know, and that's why you can't see this for what it really is. Willow was different. She's a human, Anya's a demon."

"And you're the Slayer. I see now how it's all very simple." Xander said sarcastically.

"It's never simple," she said.

"No, of course not. You know, if there's a mass murdering demon that you're...oh, say..boning...and now pregnant with his baby…then it's all grey area," Xander said, his voice filled with anger mixed in with sarcasm.

"Spike was harmless. He was helping," Buffy reminded him.

Ignoring her remark he continued, "Have you ever thought about what if the baby has some demon in it? What if it turns out that it's going to become a mass murderer like it's father. Are you willing to kill it, to save people's lives?"

Buffy stared at her friend. That was low and truth be told she had thought about it a little. How could she not? She was the Slayer these sort of questions seemed to pop in now and then in her mind.

"Xander, how could you even say that? If I had to then I would. I've done the whole sacrifice thing in the past and I'll do it again. If it was the only option, but this is different. We're talking about Anya, who has had the choice to become demon… twice, not my unborn child who is not even close to being born."

"You have no idea what she's going through…" Xander said.

"I don't care what she's going through…"

"Oh, of course not. You think we haven't all seen this before? The part where you just cut us all out? Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law? If you knew what I felt…"

Buffy shouted. "I killed Angel! Do you even remember that? I would've given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life, and I put a sword through his heart because I had to."

"And that worked out… Okay," Willow stepped in.

"Do you remember cheering me on, both of you? Do you remember giving me Willow's

message? 'Kick his ass'?"

"I never said that!" Willow cried out.

"This is different," Xander defended.

"It is always different! It's always complicated, and at some point someone has to draw the line and that is always going to be me. You, you get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the Slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guide book, no all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law."

"There has to be another way," Xander said trying to convince himself as much as his friends.

"Then please find it," Buffy told him.

He stared at his friends, then took off, shaking with anger as well as fear. Buffy stared at Willow for a moment, pleading. "Are you sure you can't do anything?" she asked.

The red head shook her head. "I'm really sorry but I don't think I…"

Buffy understood and walked over to the weapon's chest. She opened it, took out a sword, and left the house without another word.


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I don't own BTVS, unfortunately. Joss, UPN, and ME are the owners, I just borrow the characters for a bit of fun, so don't sue me.

**Feedback: **Come on review! You know you want to.

* * *

As soon as Buffy left, Willow suddenly got an idea. She raced up the stairs to her room, and began to search through her drawers for something. After throwing some of the junk in there onto the floor, she found what she was looking for, a talisman. Quickly she grabbed some magical sand and went into the bathroom. She poured the sand onto the floor, forming a circle and sat in the center of it. She chanted something, and with a flash of lighting, D'Hoffyrn appeared with his back turned away from her.

The demon spoke in a loud official voice. " Behold, D'Hoffryn. Lord of Arashmahar. He that turns the air to blood and rains-" He turned and noticed the familiar face that had summoned him. "Miss Rosenberg. How lovely to see you again. Have you done something with your hair?" He spoke conversationally.

Willow stared at him; her business face was on.

* * *

After spending most of the afternoon contemplating the possible death of the woman he loved by one of his dearest friends, he made his way into the frat house as the sky darkened. This was just too hard. Even after all the things that had happened between Anya and him after the break up at the altar, he still loved her. He had never stopped loving her. If only he hadn't broken up with her at the altar, maybe he wouldn't be going through this now. She wouldn't have returned to her demon ways, if she had married him. They might have been living happily together, but he made the choice of not marrying her and she had made her choice to return to being a vengeance demon. He had made that choice because he was afraid that their future would be more of a mess than it usually was. Except now, he was starting to have second thoughts about that decision. If he had known that this was going to happen if he hadn't married her, maybe then he would have married her, but he hadn't known at the time.

Shaking away his thoughts, he entered the frat house and spotted Anya immediately. She was by one of the walls, tracing the blood on the wall.

"I thought I'd find you here," Xander stated. He stared at her briefly then added. "Have you forced yourself to look at the bodies yet?

Anya didn't answer at first. Her lips were set in an angry scowl. " What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help," Xander told her.

"Everyone is so considerate today. I should have slaughtered people weeks ago," Anya said sarcastically.

Feeling bad, he quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. Everything I put you through…"

Anya shook her head and said. "Thank you. All better! Thank goodness you got here on time." She mocked him.

"You don't understand. This isn't an intervention. Buffy's coming to kill you." He interrupted her.

Anya blinked at that information. "She's coming to try." She informed him calmly. Not even the least bit of surprise showed in her eyes.

Xander's eyes almost bulged out of their eye sockets. He couldn't believe how calm she was, but that was Anya for you. "Did everyone have their crazy flakes today? You guys are friends, how can you talk like this?" He cried out.

"I have a job to do, and so does Buffy." Anya stated matter of factly.

The door opened and Buffy strode in wielding the sword she had obtained earlier. She had been thinking trying to delay this moment as possible, but the search for Anya had proven to be time consuming anyway. Finally, she had found her.

"Get out, Buffy," Xander yelled at Buffy.

She ignored him and said, "Move, Xander." She approached Anya, readying her sword to attack at any moment.

Xander was the only barrier between Buffy and Anya. "Buffy, please stop. You can't do this. Besides, the sooner you stop slaying the better it'll be for the baby. Don't you want your baby to be born?"

_Now, he starts acting like a caring friend_, Buffy thought. She knew earlier, he had just said those things to try to stop her from killing Anya, but it hadn't worked and now he was doing the same thing, except this time with concern for her well being.

"Get out of the way, Xander," Anya yelled at her ex-boyfriend.

When Xander turned to face her, she was in demon face. She punched him in the face and sent him flying into a nearby wall. He slumped down onto the floor, unconscious.

"This is getting to be a pattern with you, Buffy. Are there any friends of yours left you haven't tried to kill?" Anya noted, as she side stepped the first jab Buffy made with her sword.

Anya avoided several more attempts when she clocked Buffy on the head, sending her stumbling back.

"And what's this you're having a baby? I've never heard of a Slayer having a baby, I suppose it's because they end up killing it just like their friends. I see now why Slayers are meant to be alone," Anya remarked.

Buffy gritted her teeth biting the urge to say something. She ducked just in time as Anya reached for her, then rose giving Anya a front kick to her face.

"Congratulations. That is the customary thing to say isn't it?" Anya dodged a kick. Buffy nodded as the fight progressed.

The vengeance demon growled, then grabbed one of Buffy's arms and twisted it, making the Slayer hiss slightly from her firm grip. With her free hand Buffy tried to poke Anya with her elbow, but failed, and was sent into the wall for her trouble. Anya then rained punches on the Slayer's face.

Buffy then raised one of her hands blocking Anya's own hand from making contact with her face yet again. Using the other hand that held the sword, she directed it towards Anya, who backed away immediately. Quickly, Buffy stood up, approached Anya and managed to kick her into the sofa. Just as the Slayer brought her sword down, Anya moved to the left, narrowly missing getting sliced. Anya tried to get off the sofa, but caused it to fall back. Anya stood, kicked Buffy's hands, causing the sword to clatter onto the ground. Anya reached it first, then tried to drive it through Buffy, but she ducked, and the sword just sliced the air. Buffy spun out of Anya's way and appeared behind her, kicking her into the wall, then just as the sword slipped out of Anya's hand she grabbed it, and stabbed Anya in the chest.

Anya winced as she looked down at the sword impaled into her chest. Pain shot through her as she moved her hands towards the sword. In one quick moment, she pulled the sword away from her chest. She screamed in pain.

"I'd forgotten how much swords through the chest hurt," Anya said.

They continued fighting a few minutes more, when just as Buffy gained the upper hand again, Xander awoke and pushed Buffy away before she could finish Anya off. But just as everyone stood, a brilliant flash of lighting illuminated the room, which also shook the room, causing everyone to fall again.

It was D'Hoffyrn. "Oh, please continue with ever it was that you were doing."

"D'Hoffryn, what are you doing here?" Anya asked her boss, as he held his hand for her to take. She took it and stood.

Buffy eyed him warily; her sword was in her hand. Xander stood beside her.

"Easy now. I'd be gone before you even swing," he warned her.

"Isn't that just like a slayer? Solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects," He said, then continued on. "I talked to your friend, Miss Rosenberg. A real fire brand really."

"You stay away from Willow," Xander shouted.

"Ooh, he's gallant isn't he? I understand what you saw in him," D'Hoffryn told Anya. "Miss Rosenberg seems to think that Anyanka would be better suited out of the vengeance world. I think we already know what lady "hacks-away" wants and the young man sees with the eyes of love. But I'm not sure if anyone's bothered to find out what Anyanka herself really wants."

"Her name is Anya," Xander corrected him.

"Actually...funny historical sidebar, her original name was.."

"I take it back," Anya said suddenly, interrupting D'hoffryn. She walked over to him and stared at him, regret evident in her eyes.

"I'm sorry what was that?" He asked.

"I take it back." She repeated. "I want to undo what I did."

"Hmm. There must be twelve bodies in there. Are you sure? Such a thing is not easily done. But it's not impossible. You're a big girl Anyanka, you understand how this works. To balance out the proverbial scales, a sacrifice is required. The life and soul of a vengeance demon."

"Do it," Anya told him.

"Wait!" Xander exclaimed.

"Xander, stay out of it," Anya warned him.

"Right… That seems like the smart thing to do. He just said you had to die! Perhaps there's some alternative price," Xander suggested. His heart started beating frantically against his rib cage. _There just had to be another way!_ His mind told him.

"You can't help me," She responded. "I'm not even sure there's a me to help."

"Do it." She once again told the demon.

"Are you sure? Is this what you want?" D'Hoffryn questioned her.

"It is. Undo what I did."

"Very well," He acknowledged her wish.

"No!" Xander shouted.

D'Hoffryn did something unexpected. He turned away from Anya just as there was a flash of light. Anya blinked. She was still alive. She noticed that Hallie was there. Hallie smiled at her friend. Anya stared at her in confusion. In less than a minute, Hallie was consumed by flames that had just burst out of nowhere.

Anya felt tears run down her cheeks. She felt like a large part of her had been ripped from inside. She stared at D'Hoffryn in confusion.

"Did you really think it would that be that easy?" He growled.

"Why?" she asked still stunned by what she had just witnessed.

"You wished it."

"But she was yours."

"Yes she was mine, just like you were. Haven't I taught you anything, _Anya_? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain. I have many girls but you are not part of it no longer, your wish is granted."

"You should have killed me," she said.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. From beneath you it devours. Be patient. All good things in time."

He disappeared with a snap of his fingers, leaving Anya filled with despair and pain. Buffy soon left leaving Xander and Anya alone in front of the frat building.

"It was good what you did," he told her.

She didn't say anything, her gaze was on the ground. He hesitantly placed his hand gently on her shoulder, then removed it. They stood there in companionable silence.


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: I don't own BTVS, if only I did. Maybe Joss will give them to me for a Christmas present, but until then I'm not the owner, so don't sue me.

**Feedback: **I really appreciate all the comments and suggestions I've been getting. Thanks to all the reviewers, keep on doing your thing. Review please! Please don't flame.

* * *

Xander pulled open his apartment door and walked in, followed by Dawn and Buffy. Spike stood in front of the open doorway, eying the three of them.

"You're going to live in that small room over there. I know it looks like a closet but it's a room now. You're not going to touch my food. I take the first shower in the morning and if I use up all the hot water, that's your tough noogies," He explained to Spike. Then looking at Buffy he added, "And I hate this plan." His gaze returned to the bleached vampire. "Are you keeping up or do you need some kind of English-to-Constant-Pain-in-My-Ass translation?"

The vampire didn't answer him. It seemed strange that the vampire before him, was not the same cocky, annoying bleach brain he'd last seen a couple of months ago. Now he had a soul and apparently was growing insane because of it or something in the basement was making him act this way. He hated the fact that now he was going to get stuck living with this vampire whom he hated so much and was the father of Buffy's child. If it weren't for Buffy, who had asked him, he wouldn't be doing this.

"Invitation?" Buffy prompted Xander.

"Can I revile the plan, cause I really don't think this is gonna work." Seeing Buffy's determined look he added. "Fine."

Xander sighed and reluctantly invited him in. "I invite you in…nimrod," he added after Spike crossed the threshold.

Spike glared at him and muttered. "I don't need your soddin' food anyway."

"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" Xander asked Buffy, clearly having second thoughts about the plan.

"He was going crazy in the basement. We couldn't just leave him there," Buffy explained..

"Gee, why couldn't we? Crazy guy in the basement is better than…"

"It's just things are different now. He has a soul." Buffy interrupted him before he could say anything insulting. "He's been through a lot and…"

"And besides, being all crazy is not exactly a good quality for a father. Remember he is the father of my sister's baby," Dawn added.

Xander looked defeated and partly annoyed while Buffy just stood there silent.

"I'll go, I don't think this is gonna work," announced Spike, who had just finished checking out his new room.

Buffy whirled around and faced him. She hadn't really paid attention to what he was doing since she was focusing on talking with Xander.

"What are you talking about? It will. It is gonna work. It's already working. You've been out of the basement for half an hour and you've stopped talking to invisible people."

"Bollocks," Spike said.

"Well there was that one episode in the car," Buffy said.

"No, bollocks to the whole thing. I don't want to be coddled."

"It's not coddling," Buffy insisted. "J-J-Just go to your closet. I got to go now."

"Dawn let's go," Buffy said as she grabbed her sister's hand and pulled her out of the apartment. She waved to Xander as she closed the door behind her.

* * *

After Buffy left, Spike just retreated to his new home and room for now. Xander didn't even say anything to him, glad that at least the vamp wasn't going to make trouble for now. Xander settled onto his couch and turned on the television.

Spike rested on the old mattress that was now his bed. It wasn't in bad condition, it was comfortable enough to sleep in, or just lie there like he was doing at the moment. Also in the room was a dresser by the wall, just near the door. Sighing, he closed his eyes. He was glad that his mind was no longer playing tricks on him with illusions of people he knew currently or once knew or thoughts of all the horrible deeds he had committed. At least for now he was sane.

Buffy was the one who currently inhabited his thoughts. If it weren't for her he would still be down in the school basement. He knew she convinced the whelp to let him stay here, but it wasn't out of any feelings she held for him, it was just most likely concern for his well being, to be able to be a father when the time came. He still found it bloody amazing that she had even suggested that if he wanted he could take part in their child's life, after the events that had happened just a couple of months ago. He was grateful that she was giving him a chance, but he couldn't help but feel that he was undeserving and needed to be staked. Sodding soul, always had to make him feel guilty. He was getting used to it, but sometimes it could really put him down. With or without a soul he had always been aware that he was unworthy of being near her. After all, he was just a vampire and she a slayer.

His mind began to fill with thoughts of the unborn baby. As a human, he had never actually thought about having children. He had always figured he would decide about such matters when he married. Of course, he never got around to that, since he was turned. And now unexpectedly he was going to be a father. He had been shocked to find out and hadn't really thought about it being insane and all in the basement. But now, that he was thinking clearly he knew he wanted his child to be born. It was a deep feeling within him that made him feel this way. He couldn't explain it. But as much as he wanted it, he could only think about what kind of a father he'd make. He was sure Buffy would make a great mum, but him a good dad? Not likely. He was a vampire for Christ's sake.

He shifted in his bed, trying to block out the thoughts. He wanted to sleep he was tired of thinking.

* * *

As soon as Buffy entered the house, she headed straight for the kitchen. She was hungry. She really hadn't eaten much throughout the day. She knew she should eat better than she was doing now that she was pregnant but she had been really busy at the school and now dealing with the whole Spike moving in with Xander thing. Buffy opened the fridge and began to fish around for something to eat. Dawn appeared a moment later and took a seat.

Buffy took out ham and cheese from the fridge and soon made a sandwich. She sat next to Dawn.

"Want one?" Buffy asked after she took her first bite of the sandwich.

Dawn shook her head. "No, I'm not hungry." She stared out the window.

"Is something wrong?' Her sister queried. "You've been pretty quiet this whole entire time."

"Nothing's wrong. It's just that I think that we should have stayed a while longer at Xander's. "

"Sorry," she gave her sister an apologetic smile. "I just thought that we were through with everything, rules a-and the talking."

"We did but it was just a little visit. But it's okay. I'm sort of over it already. So besides helping out Spike have you thought about getting together?" Dawn wondered.

"Dawn! I.. n-n-no. That isn't going to happen. I.."

"I know you don't love him and stuff but you said you cared…"

"I told you already I'm letting him take part in the baby's life if he wants to. A-A-nd besides things are complicated right now and.."

"I know, I know," Dawn said, standing up. "I'm going to bed. Night, Buffy."

"Night Dawn."

After finishing eating and clearing away everything, she headed for her room. She began to undress and put on her pajamas. As she did so, she placed her hand on her stomach noticing something different. There was a slight bump on her stomach, indicating that her baby was growing. A small smile came to her lips. It made her realize that there was something truly alive growing inside her.

A/N: Just to give you a head's up the next chapter won't be based on an episode. Yeah, I know this isn't much of a chapter but the better parts are soon to come at least I hope they will.


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own a thing. Joss is the lovely owner of all the BTVS characters. I just borrow them to write about.

**Feedback:** I want to hear what you guys think, so please review! No flames though.

* * *

"So how are you doing in your classes?" Buffy asked, taking her eyes off the movie that she, Willow, and Dawn had been watching for the past hour. Her sister had just left the living room to get more popcorn.

It had been two weeks since she had stopped slaying, finally giving in to her friends' demands. Two long weeks. At first, she had seen it as a chance to relax despite the worry for her friends who were covering her patrols. They had done a good job when she had been dead at least that's what she had been told, surely they could handle it. As days went by she began to grow bored of the same schedule of coming home from work and watching TV or cleaning the house and talking to Dawn or her friends if they were around before they headed to patrol.

It wasn't worry that made her want to go out there and slay some vamps it was just that she missed it. She enjoyed the good fight, the thrill it gave her and now she wasn't able to do that until she gave birth, which was still months away. God, she felt so restless.

Willow didn't answer for a moment, obviously very into the movie. A minute later she blinked then regarded Buffy, "Oops, sorry." Willow grinned embarrassed. "Kinda got caught up in the movie. So, uh what did you say?"

"I asked how you were doing in your classes," Buffy repeated her question. "But it's okay if you don't want to talk right now. I mean it is movie night and all."

"No, it's okay. We can talk, I'm not that interested in the movie anyway. A-And tonight is not so much of a movie night, it's more of a girl's night out. Well not exactly a night out since we're inside but uh, as in hanging out." Willow said, leaning against the sofa.

"I guess you're right. So about those classes?"

"Oh yeah. Um, I'm doing pretty good. It's been sort of tough trying to get back into the swing of things, but I've managed." Willow smiled, receiving a smile from her friend in return. "Speaking of school, how's yours? I mean you know being the counselor at Sunnydale high."

"It's been good so far. Today I, uh, talked to Principal Wood about my being pregnant." Buffy announced.

Willow looked at Buffy with wide eyes. "Really? What did he say?"

"Well, he was in shock for about a minute or so, then he said that it was okay if I continued working for as long as I could." Buffy explained.

"That's great, Buffy," the red head said. "It's good that he's an understanding boss. Others are not with the understanding when it comes to pregnancies even though they should be."

"Yeah, well it still doesn't let him off the hook from being on my watch list of who could be possibly evil in the school," Buffy said.

"Okay, I understand why Principal Wood is on the list after what happened with Principal Snyder. But who else is on your list?" Willow asked.

"Uh, the coffee maker. It hardly ever works. I think it's probably under the control of some kind of evil ghost or…"

Willow laughed. "Anybody else?"

"No that's it, But this is serious, Will," Buffy said, a teasing smile forming on her lips.

"What's serious?" Dawn appeared carrying a large, blue bowl filled with freshly popped popcorn. The buttery scent of the popcorn filled the room.

"Uh, we were just talking about how uh, important," Buffy gave Willow a knowing look which the red head immediately understood.

Dawn sat on the floor and leaned back against the couch. She offered the bowl to her sister, who took it, grabbed some popcorn and then passed it on to Willow.

"Responsibility is," Willow said as she grabbed some popcorn from the bowl.

Dawn glanced from her sister to her Wiccan friend in disbelief. "I'm not stupid you know," she said as she took the bowl of popcorn from her sister. "You just changed the subject 'cause of tomorrow. I'll have you know I'm very responsible. Totally responsible just like um, like uh Willow."

The older women traded looks of disbelief.

"Okay, so maybe I'm not _that_ responsible but I'll show you that I can be. It's the new me. Responsible Dawn," the teen smiled in an attempt to seem more convincing.

She had been bothering her sister for the past two weeks to get permission to obtain a part time job. Buffy had finally agreed last week, and Dawn had managed to find a job rather quickly, mainly by luck and tomorrow was her first day.

"Well, I hope so," Buffy said. "I know you're just trying to help and I appreciate it."

"That's what sisters do, help each other. Even though I really wasn't much help a couple of months ago. Everything is different now though." Dawn glanced over at the television. "How about we get back to the movie?"

The red and blonde agreed. They spent the rest of the night watching movies without any further conversations of important subjects.


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any BTVS characters, Joss and associates are the owners. If I owned them then I wouldn't be writing fan fic.

**Feedback: **Reviews are what keep me going so please review. Flames are not appreciated so please do not post any.

**A/N: **Sorry, you guys for the long wait but I'm finally. I know, I know, I took way too long to update but I finally did. Don't worry though, I plan to update more frequently to finish this story soon. Really, I will try. I'd also like to remind you guys that I'm playing with the timeline and the reason why Dawn and Buffy are at school is that in my story the school is year round instead of traditional. (Year round schools usually start around July or August. It depends on the school. For my story I chose July, ok. Right now the story has moved into the middle of August. I'll try to move along the story in the coming chapters.

* * *

Crap. Only ten minutes left 'til four o'clock. _Okay, Summers don't panic there's still plenty of time left_, Dawn told herself as she walked hurriedly down the street. Stupid Mrs. Gordon, of all the days to talk to her after school she had to pick today. Hello today was her first day on her first job. Of course, Mrs. Gordon hadn't known that today she was in a hurry but she just couldn't help but be annoyed at her teacher. At least she hadn't been in trouble, on the contrary her teacher actually praised her work. She was glad that her teacher recognized her efforts in the class but still, it didn't help with the fact that her teacher's little congrats speech made her miss the bus which meant that she had to wait for another one.

Just one more block that's all she needed to walk. She glanced at her watch, five more minutes that's all she had left. A sense of relief rose in her three minutes later as she reached her destination. Dawn stared at the large purple sign with sparkling white letters that read "Sunnydale Treasures" above the store's entrance. This was it, she was finally here and it was now or never. She took a quick, deep breath before entering the small shop.

"Hello there," greeted a middle-aged woman from behind a display stand filled with maps.

She had red hair that was pulled into a bun and was wearing a blue sweater and some old jeans.

"Hi, um, Mrs. Rogers, it's me Dawn," the teen greeted.

"Dawn Summers right? The new employee." Mrs. Rogers acknowledged. She glanced at her watch and said, "You made it on time. Good. Last kid we hired hardly ever came in on time; that's the reason we ended up firing him."

Dawn nodded and began to play with the backpack strap on her shoulder. Without any further words, Mrs. Rogers made her way towards the main counter, which was about ten feet away. She went around it and began to search for something in a drawer. A couple of seconds later she took out what she had been looking for.

"Here's your I.D. badge," Mrs. Rogers finally spoke as she motioned for Dawn to take it.

Dawn walked towards the counter and took the badge from her. "Thanks, Mrs. Rogers."

"No problem. Let me explain some stuff. As you know Sunnydale Treasures is a gift shop and although Sunnydale is small place you're going to be surprised that business does come our way. You see a lot of people stop by on their way to big cities such as L.A. which is good for us. Other people actually come to Sunnydale to visit family or what have you and like to get souvenirs while others come 'cos they're interested in the going ons 'round town.. We sell a lot of stuff that has to do Sunnydale's strange history," Mrs. Rogers enlightened.

"What kind of stuff?" Dawn wondered. When she came to apply for the job, she hadn't really paid much attention to the products in the shop. All she cared about then was getting a job, which she had accomplished.

"I'll show you, but first things first, you gotta do your work. Today you're going to help clean out the back room and then you're going to get whatever merchandise needs replacing around here from the back, okay?" Mrs. Rogers ordered.

"Sure, I'll do it. That is what I'm here for," Dawn smiled.

* * *

"Aww, Buffy look at these shoes. They're so cute." Willow held up a pair of baby shoes. "They're so tiny."

"I'll say. You'll need to try foot binding if you want to squeeze into that shoe," Buffy teased.

Much to the Slayer's surprise, Willow showed up today at her cubicle as soon as school ended in order to convince her to accompany the said witch to the mall where she was going to buy some books. In reality, it had been a devious ploy by the witch in order to get Buffy to look at baby stuff.

A sheepish grin crossed Willow's face for a moment but it disappeared quickly. "It's amazing how there can be a human small enough to fit into such tiny shoes or how you and I were even that small to begin with."

"Yeah, it is amazing," Buffy agreed. "It seems just like yesterday that I was a little girl. Life was way easier back then. Don't you miss it?"

"Yeah but now we're here. All grown up and hey now you're going to have a little one in a couple of months," Willow grinned.

"Hey, Will what time is it?" Buffy asked, as if suddenly remembering something.

"6:00pm," The red head replied. "Why? Worried about Dawnie?"

"No, I gotta run. Today's my doctor's appointment." Buffy answered. "See ya," Buffy said as she whirled around and headed towards the store's exit.

"Bye," Willow called after her and sighed. "Guess, this means I gotta go to. Time to hit the books," she told herself as left the store.

* * *

An hour later Buffy was in the doctor's office impatiently awaiting her doctor's return. Her eyes roamed over the room searching for anything interesting to calm her nerves but unfortunately, there was nothing. This was room was plain unlike the other rooms in the building and the one painting that did adorn it was drab and too small. Suddenly the door swung open and in strode, Dr. Matthews, a tall, slender woman just reaching her fifties.

"Well, Buffy, it looks like everything is okay," the doctor said as she examined the chart that she came in with.

"So, everything is okay?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, just don't forget to eat healthy. Proteins and calcium are important okay."

"What about exercise?"

"Exercise is okay to do. Walking everyday for thirty minutes is a good idea or aerobics but don't overdo it. You don't want to hurt yourself and your baby in the process," the doctor explained. "Well if those are all your questions then we're done for today. I'll see you in a month."

"Yeah, those are all my questions." Buffy said, as she prepared to leave. "Bye, Dr. Matthews."

Before leaving the clinic, she made a quick call to verify how Dawn was doing. Apparently, Dawn was just leaving her job and was heading home. The Slayer was relieved to know that Dawn was fine and genuinely happy with her job. On her way home, Buffy made a pit stop at an ice cream shop. By the time she came out the sun's last rays had long disappeared and the night had dawned upon the city.

As she walked down the street, she saw a figure coming from her left. She could sense that it was a vampire and as it stepped into the light, she could tell that it was a newly risen vampire. Although the vampire had obviously tried to get rid of the dirt, loose particles still clung to his clothes. The Slayer walked past the vampire as if she didn't know what he was. While she didn't want to fight to risk her baby's welfare she couldn't let this vamp roam any further into the city. She decided that she would have to make this dusting as quick as possible.

As she turned around, she saw that the vampire was staring at her looking puzzled. He was a young man around her age. Quickly she loosened the stake from her sleeve into her hand.

"Buffy? Buffy Summers?" The vampire questioned no longer looking puzzled.

* * *

Meanwhile in the cemetery Xander and Anya were just about to start patrol. A cool breeze swept through the area, rustling the trees. Xander felt an unusual tingling, which he tried to ignore. Anya shivered and rubbed her hands over her arms in an effort to warm herself.

"A bit chilly, tonight huh?" Xander broke the silence as he scanned the area.

"Yes, it is. I could be home right now, you know. All nice and comfy but no! I have to be right here," Anya moaned.

"You shouldn't have come then. I could have handled it," Xander said. Anya made a noise of disbelief which Xander ignored. "Hey, don't you think it's weird that it's a cool night? I mean it's kind of cooler than normal."

Anya looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess you're right. It should be hot. It hasn't been really hot lately though. Not enough to make you want to sleep naked anyway."

Before Xander could say anything, a large vampire tackled him from behind. Anya glanced worriedly at Xander as he struggled with the vampire. Xander grunted as he tried to get the vampire off him, but the vampire's weight was too much for him.

"See, you can't handle this by yourself," Anya remarked as she approached the tussling figures with a stake in her hand.

Seconds ticked by as she waited for a chance to stake the vampire. Xander managed to elbow the vampire's chin momentarily confusing it and with that Xander pushed the vamp slightly and he rolled out from beneath the vampire. The vampire lost no time in grabbing Xander's leg again, preventing his escape. Anya quickly reached down to stake the vampire but before she could react, it was knocked out her hands.

Another vampire had shown up. He was short in stature and completely bald. He licked his lips as he assessed his prey. Anya stared at him disgusted. Her eyes quickly went to the stake, which the vampire noticed. He laughed and made no attempt to stop her. Quickly, she made a grab for the stake. As she did so, she flung some dirt up to the vamp's face with her other hand. The vampire growled angrily as he blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear his vision. She kicked him and then tried to drive the stake in his chest. Unfortunately, she missed and the vampire took this opportunity to retaliate by hitting her face. She almost fell but the vamp grabbed her and hauled her away.

"What are you doing?" She yelled as she tried to break his grip. The vampire didn't say anything as he carried her away.

Xander upon hearing Anya's cries hurriedly destroyed his opponent. But as he ran to help Anya, the foreboding feeling that he had earlier returned and this time more intense than before. He didn't stop his pursuit though.

Suddenly he heard his name.

"Xander."

Xander froze. It wasn't Anya. It was a familiar voice, one that he hadn't heard in years. No, it couldn't be. It wasn't him. He had to be hearing things. Xander felt his stomach tighten with uneasiness.

"Well, well if it isn't my best bud," the voice said.

Xander turned slowly, still not quite believing what he was hearing. He stared at the familiar face of a grinning young man.

"J-J-Jesse," stammered Xander, eyes wide with shock.

"Glad to know you still remember me," Jesse remarked with a hint of contempt. " And hey, you're still alive. Didn't really expect you to survive so long. I thought you'd be vamp food or at least one of us." His face shifted into that of a vampire.

Xander took a step back. "I could say the same about you. Well the whole being alive or um, undead thing. And how is it that you're undead again?"

The vampire simply grinned. "You shouldn't worry 'bout that. I'm thinking you should be worried more about what's to come." He bared his fangs.

Xander braced himself for a battle.

"I don't really want to do this," Jesse said insincerely. "But you know how the saying goes 'an eye for an eye"

Xander winced as he remembered the night he staked the vampire before him. He hadn't wanted to do it. After all, Jesse had been one of his best friends when he was alive. It was during that time that he'd first met Buffy and his life had taken a whole different direction.

He had been scared on that night, but he had tried his best to be brave. He hadn't wanted to believe that Jesse was truly gone, but it was true. Jesse was no longer Jesse; instead, a demon had taken over his body. In the end, Jesse got impaled on his stake by accident. In a way, it had made the pain slightly easier to bear. It had been difficult to get through his head that he wasn't actually killing Jesse.

"You were going to do the same to me," Xander reminded him after a span of silence. "And besides you aren't _him."_

"Of course I am him," Jesse laughed harshly. "It really hurt you know." He patted his chest.

"I'm sorry about that," Xander responded sincerely. A few moments passed before he said, "That kind of thing happens a lot to vampires around here."

Jesse shook his head. "You think you see everything but you don't. I've got news for you, pal. You aren't going to see what's coming, by the time you do, it'll be too late," He paused before saying, "Not even she can stop it".

Xander stared at Jesse, the feeling in his stomach getting even worse after hearing his words. He tried to ignore his words, thinking of what he was going to say next when he heard Anya's voice.

"Xander!" Xander turned his head and saw that Anya was coming towards him along with Willow and Dawn.

A second later when he turned his head, Jesse was nowhere in sight. Xander blinked in confusion. "What the hell?" He knew vamps were fast but they weren't that quick.

"Are you alright?" Willow asked.

"I'm okay," Xander mumbled as he turned towards Anya. "Are you okay? What happened?" He noticed Dawn looked particularly down.

"I'm fine, no thanks to you though," Anya replied. "And what were you doing here standing all alone, anyway?

Before Xander could answer, Willow cut in. "Xander we need to talk. Something's going on."


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Buffy. Guess who does? Joss Whedon and his associates do.

**Feedback:** Reviews are what give me inspiration, so come on and review. No flames though.

* * *

"Okay, this is bad," Xander muttered, as he stared at the window he'd just finished boarding up.

"What are you talking about? It looks fine to me. Nice and sturdy." Dawn said as she stood by Xander.

"At least for now," Anya added as she too looked over the boarded window.

"I'm not talking about the window. The boards are finely put it up, if I do say so myself. I'm talking about this situation that we're in. What's been going on these past couple of days— Spike going on sleeper mode and almost getting kidnapped by a couple of blind guys and the First talking to each of us in the form of people we once knew. I'm getting really bad vibes about this whole First thing."

"Hey, you guys mind untying me?" Andrew interrupted from across the room where he was tied to a chair.

"Would you shut up? We'll untie when we feel like it, as I was saying," Xander continued ignoring the blonde's protests.

A second later Buffy appeared at the bottom of the stairs and paused for a second. "Hey, you guys, I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" Xander asked he walked up to her, followed by Anya and Dawn. "I'm done around here so if you want I can tag along."

"It's okay, I can go by myself. I just need to do something besides being in the house," the Slayer replied.

Xander stared at the blonde and frowned. "Buffy, you know we're here for you. So if you got any plans to do anything say stupid, like going out to find the First or do any slayage related stuff all by your lonesome, then I'm gonna have to say you're staying put."

Buffy lifted an eyebrow.

"I'm serious," Xander added as Buffy continued to stare at him.

"Xander's right. You can't just go out by yourself. And even with somebody accompanying you it isn't safe. It's not just about you anymore," Dawn backed her friend up. "It's about two people now."

Buffy stared at her friends for a moment before sighing, "You guys are right. But I…we need to do something."

"Of course we do, unless you guys wanna get picked off one by one by the those blind little men," Anya stated.

"So what did you have in mind?" Xander wondered.

"Well, since we're coming up with squat with the research, I was thinking of heading towards where I first saw the First. You know. The Christmas tree lot," Buffy replied.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Dawn asked.

"We've got nothing so far and this is something," Buffy reasoned. She glanced at Xander. "So are you coming with?"

Xander nodded and opened the front door to find a raised fist in the air.

"Giles?" Buffy stared at the familiar figure at the door.

"Hey! What brings you to the Hellmouth?" Xander greeted. Suddenly, three young women pushed past the former Watcher.

"So you're the Slayer?" one of the girl's asked.

"Nice place you got," another commented.

Buffy stared at them, not knowing what to say. Who were these girls and how did they know she was the Slayer? More importantly, why were they accompanying Giles. She had a feeling this wasn't a social call.

Half an hour later, Buffy's mind was reeling. It was bad enough being the Slayer and being pregnant, but the news concerning the First wasn't at all what she had expected.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but I'm afraid the lives of these girls…Of the world, fall on your shoulders," Giles finished his explanation, his eyes elsewhere but on hers.

She stared at him, stunned. Dumbfounded even. She wasn't sure what to say so she said the only thing she could, " I see."

"But no pressure," Xander stated in an attempt to lighten the mood.

An uncomfortable silence followed. Buffy didn't make any attempts to look at her friends, former Watcher, or Slayers-in-training. She couldn't face the looks of pity, sympathy, or anything else that was in their eyes.

"Is anybody hungry?" Willow asked suddenly.

"You guys must be starving. Come on, follow me," Dawn waved to the potentials to follow her as she stood and headed towards the kitchen.

"Sure, I'm feeling a bit peckish," the British girl named Molly said. The other girls, Annabelle and Kennedy followed behind Molly.

"Giles, we need to talk," the Slayer finally met the gaze of the father figure in her life.

"Of, course," he nodded.

"Uh, I have to go take care of some stuff. At home," Xander said.

"Um, I'm going to see if Dawn needs any help with the food," Willow leaped from her seat. "Hey, Anya, wanna come with?"

"Why? I'm sure she doesn't need any help," Anya replied, earning a pointed look from the red head.

"Anya," Xander began.

"Oh, right. This is one of those awkward moments were we all clear out so that Buffy and Giles can talk about…" Anya stopped as Xander cut her off. "Ahn," his tone indicated annoyance.

"Okay, I'm coming," she huffed.

"Xander, would you mind taking Andrew upstairs before you go?" Buffy asked and received a nod from the brunette.

"But I wanted to stay and," Andrew protested. "Oww," he cried as Xander grabbed him from the collar after loosening his bonds.

"Come on," Xander said as he led Andrew upstairs.

Buffy didn't speak until Xander came downstairs and left the house. "What did you want to talk about? Is this about the First?" Giles, asked once they were alone.

" No. It's something else," Buffy took a deep breath as she continued. "Giles, there's something you need to know," she began as her heart jackhammered against her rib rage. She'd been delaying the call to Giles for as long as she could but now he was here in her house. She couldn't avoid telling him the truth anymore, especially with the news about the First. He had to know.

Giles stared at her. "Is there something wrong?"

"I-I'm p-pregnant," she said and her eyes quickly lowered, afraid to see his reaction.

A looming silence ensued. For what seem like an eternity neither Buffy nor Giles stirred. Slowly, Buffy's gaze found her way onto the blank face of the elder British man. She had never seen him so stunned, so frozen, so unable to even clean his glasses, as he was prone to do whenever something important was said.

"Pregnant?" He finally spoke.

"Yes," she answered. God, she was really starting to get tired of people's disbelief and surprise.

Giles continued to stare at her, then slipped off his glasses and proceeded to clean them.

"Giles?" She questioned. Her nerves were starting to get worse as his lack of response continued.

"Pregnant?" He repeated once more. "Buffy, do you realize what this means?"

"I'm having a baby," Buffy replied casually as she tried ignoring her nerves.

"No, well err, yes. But that is not what I mean," He admonished her, giving her a stern look. "What I meant to say is that the Slayer line is in serious danger of extinction, and you are the only one that can prevent that from occurring. And in your present state, I'm afraid you won't be able to do anything," he said, his voice giving a hint of barely controlled emotion.

He paused briefly and then continued, "We are dealing with the First. An enemy that is unlike anything we have ever encountered. It is pure evil. And…" He stopped unable to hide his emotions any longer. "For God's sake, what were you thinking, Buffy? I understand you went through a hard time last year and you developed a relationship of sorts with Spike. But getting pregnant? You are an adult now and I'm sure you are aware of the repercussions of sex. This is j-j-just irresponsible. You are the Slayer, you can't…"

"Have a life," Buffy interrupted. "Have friends, go to college, get married or do anything remotely normal. I got the memo a long time ago about how the life of the Slayer is supposed to be like. I probably should have gotten the Slayer's handbook though, probably would have made everything even clearer," She shot Giles a faux glare of resentment. "But then again, you were right in not giving it to me. Never been much for following rules. Hell, I can't even be a normal Slayer."

Buffy paused and took a deep breath. Her nervousness had long since been forgotten and now she was mad. Giles started to speak, but she held up her hand to stop him. "I didn't ask for this happen," She placed a hand on her abdomen fleetingly and then continued, "But it did. And I sure as hell didn't ask for the First to be in the mix again. Especially not now. This isn't about me not doing by duty. "

She shrugged her shoulders as she considered her words and the situation she was in. "Or maybe it is. But my point is that I've always done my duty, Giles. I've died twice, remember? Besides, this pregnancy isn't what you think."

"What do you mean?" Giles asked, staring at Buffy curiously.

"Well, you see, my pregnancy isn't exactly normal. I got pregnant by—"

"A demon," Giles supplied before she finished her sentence.

"W-W-What? How did you…?" Buffy stared at her ex-Watcher in surprise.

"Do you what kind of demon it is? When did you encounter this demon?" Giles began questioning her. His anger suddenly replaced by his Watcher instincts.

"Huh," Buffy murmured, completely baffled by Giles' behavior. "What are you talking about?"

"You said you were impregnated by a demon. We need to find out what type of demon it is, so we can undo the pregnancy. It doesn't seem like you're really far along but demon spawn tend to develop really quickly. We don't know when the pregnancy will start to progress further, so we really must hurry and find the demon that did this to you."

Buffy glanced down at her abdomen. It was true, it did not seem like she was really far along. But that was partly due to the fact that she was wearing a loose shirt that hid her slightly protruding belly.

"Again with the huh and what are you talking about? You think I got impregnated by some demon on patrol?"

"Isn't that what happened? Or was it a demon posing as a human? That would narrow the list considerably. I've heard of demons that pose as humans in order to impregnate human women. It is the way they reproduce but I have never seen one, myself."

"You mean there's demons that do that?" Buffy eyes widened.

Giles' eyes narrowed, confused. "I don't understand."

"Giles, I did get pregnant by a demon," She explained. "Spike."

Giles stared at her and then began to laugh. "You can't be serious. Buffy, you of all people should know that vampires cannot create life. They're dead which renders them infertile."

"Fully aware of that, Giles. But I've got evidence that says otherwise," Buffy patted her stomach.

Giles stopped his hysterical laughing and stared at her. His lips were set tightly against each other and he closed his eyes briefly. "I need a drink."

_You and me both_, Buffy thought dryly. Of course, she wouldn't drink but she couldn't help that thought from crossing her mind. This day had brought about more emotions than she wanted to deal with. And it was just the tip of the iceberg. She knew what lay in store in her was going to be far more difficult than telling Giles about her pregnancy.

**A/N: **Sorry for the long delay. I really am. Unfortunately, life and my faulty muse are to blame for the lack of updates. I've already got ideas for the next chapter and hopefully I will get it done soon. At least within the month. Also, I'd like to point out that I was not trying to write the exact scene of Bring on the Night, I was merely trying to create one that was reminiscent of it. No need to tell me the quotes aren't right. Oh, and don't forget to review. Much appreciated. Again, I'm so sorry for the lack of updates.


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I don't own BTVS. Joss and his associates are the owners. I'm just borrowing them for a bit of fun.

**Feedback:** I'd really appreciate if you guys reviewed. No flames though.

* * *

Dawn slowly walked down the steps trying not to spill the steaming, red liquid contained in the mug she held. She was glad there was some light in the room despite its limited glow. She was pretty sure that if there hadn't been any light in the room, she would have tripped, rolled, and landed at the base of the stairs covered in blood. Definitely not one of her favorite looks.

She carefully cradled the drink in her hands as she peered around the room. She spotted Spike on the other side of the room, near the wall, sleeping in a cot. She stared at him, noticing how peaceful he looked. She didn't want to disturb him. She sighed as her mind wandered over to thoughts of recent events. Finding out Buffy was pregnant had been surprising but welcome news but Giles' arrival didn't fit that category. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to see Giles; of course she was. It was just that Giles had brought terrible news along with three houseguests. She didn't mind the houseguests although Molly was starting to get on her nerves with her incessant chatter.

Giles' arrival hadn't been the first sign that trouble was brewing. It was merely the confirmation. Just days ago she along with Xander and Willow had received visits from the First in forms of people they once knew. Her visit from the First had been in the guise of her mother and she had truly believed it. Despite her sister and friend's protests, she had been adamant that she had witnessed an appearance from her mother. As hours went by though, she realized that it had been a trick although she never outwardly admitted it.

She'd been a fool; she'd desperately wanted to believe that it had been her mother. Losing both her mother and her sister in the same year had been very difficult. Almost unbearable. She'd missed both of them so much. She'd never attempted to get on with her life if it hadn't been for Xander, Willow, Tara, Anya, and Spike. Especially Spike. He always stayed and kept her company. He'd talk to her, help her with homework, play card games, and even force her to eat when she became really depressed. She'd considered him a best friend. No more than that, a brother. She'd seen and shared the pain Spike felt about Buffy's passing. At first Xander hadn't liked the idea of Spike spending so much time with her but Willow, Tara, and Giles had agreed since Spike seemed to calm her down. She never really understood why the others especially Xander thought vampires couldn't feel. They always seemed pretty blind to her since it was evident Spike suffered just as much as they did if not more.

Spike had hung around with her up until Buffy's return from the dead. He occasionally showed up afterwards but the visits eventually stopped. She'd always supposed that it was because he knew Buffy wouldn't like it. At first, she didn't really notice Spike's absence since she was so caught up with Buffy's return. She had been so relieved that she had her sister back. So happy. Those feelings were short lived. Overtime they became replaced by sadness and loneliness.

She thought that Buffy being alive would make everything okay. She knew that Buffy would have trouble adjusting to being alive but she thought she would snap out of it in awhile. Instead, it dragged on for months causing a rift between the sisters. Dawn had never felt so lonely, not even when Buffy had been dead. Xander and Anya had been too busy with wedding plans, Willow with her magic, and Tara had been busy with school and staying away from Willow. She didn't know what Spike had been up to. So, she had tried to lessen her loneliness by hanging out with Janice and stealing. How she had wished for her mother to be alive, to have someone there for her.

Little did she know that Buffy had been too busy sleeping with Spike to pay any notice to her. All that time she had thought that her sister was too busy trying to make ends meet and adjusting to the whole being alive thing. Yeah, she had been working but she'd also been using Spike. When she'd first heard this, she had been angry with her sister. In a way, she still was although it had lessened. She couldn't believe her sister had used him that way. In her monk created memories, she remembered Buffy suffering because of Angel. And later in her own non- magically created memories, Riley. She would have thought that Buffy would have learned from the past and tried not to hurt others like she had been hurt. Stupid Buffy.

And Spike, she'd been confused at first then furious when she'd heard that he'd attempted to rape her sister. She had felt betrayed. She had trusted him and considered him like a brother. He said he loved her sister and she had believed it. The sincerity in his eyes had always been crystal clear to her. She still remembered the grief in his eyes when Buffy had died. So, it seemed incomprehensible to her that he would try to do such a horrible act toward the woman he claimed to love. She had wanted to stake him, burn him for trying to hurt her sister. But now she didn't feel the same way; she was confused once more.

She was confused because now she knew the truth of what occurred between Buffy and Spike. She now had a better idea of what went on between them and why their relationship ended in such a horrible fashion. She was mad at both of them for the way things went wrong between them and to a lesser extent for them leaving her out in the cold. Things had already starting going well with her sister despite the anger she felt upon learning the truth. But things with Spike were still not well. The last time she talked to him, she threatened to burn him if he attempted to hurt her sister again. She wanted to mend things between Spike and her because she wanted his friendship again. She knew it wasn't going to be easy to try to make things okay between them but she was willing to try. If Buffy was making an attempt after everything that happened, then so could she. She knew that the only reason Spike wasn't dust was because a part of Buffy still trusted him and because of his recently acquired soul. It wasn't because of the baby; Dawn knew all too well what Buffy would do if anyone she cared about was in danger. If Buffy thought that Spike was a threat, he wouldn't be living in their house now. Although, technically they still had to find a way to get rid of the First's hold on Spike. But that was okay, they always dealt with magical stuff. She was just glad that for the moment Spike was okay and that the Bringers failed to take him away the other day. She wondered what the First wanted Spike for.

"B-bi," A voice broke her thoughts, causing her to almost drop the mug in her hands.

"Uh, Dawn," Spike corrected himself as he righted himself to a sitting position. His wrists were shackled by chains that were hooked onto the wall behind him; it was a precautionary measure in case the First tried to control him again.

"What are you doin' here?" Spike asked, surprised to see her. The only person that had visited him thus far had been Buffy. Everyone else appeared to be staying clear of the basement. He didn't blame them and it wasn't like he actually wanted to see any of them anyway. Except for Dawn, who was now here, and maybe Red.

"I brought you blood," Dawn spoke in a clipped voice.

He stared at the mug in her hands. He didn't like her tone of voice, he missed her usual cheery voice. But he knew he deserved it along with her threats. He had after all tried to rape her sister.

"You shouldn't have brought it. Does Buffy know you're here?" His blue gaze found hers.

"No," She answered truthfully. "But do you honestly want to wait 'til she gets home?"

"You shouldn't be here. I'm dangerous. No tellin' what the First will have me do."

"You're shackled," Dawn pointed out.

"Doesn't matter. You really think these chains are gonna hold me back," He yanked at the chains, causing them to clang loudly. "Not bloody likely. I'd get you before you even had a chance to reach the first step." He nodded toward the stairs behind her.

"Do you feel like you want to kill me, now?" she questioned.

"No," he replied.

"Then, I'm fine. Here, just drink this before it gets any colder." She approached him, placing the mug near his mouth.

He stared at her for a moment, then lowered his mouth so that he could reach the straw. He began to drink the blood. Dawn tried not to look at him as he drank his blood. It was a little disturbing, but what was bothering her was the discomfort she now felt being here with him. His presence had always been comforting and now things were weird between them.

"Where's Buffy?" He asked after he finished drinking his blood. "Shouldn't she be home by now?

"She had a faculty meeting. Part of the high school counselor package." She explained, almost sounding like her old self.

"Well, you should you be on your way now. Finished with my blood 'n all." He gestured to the empty mug. "Thanks, you didn't have to."

"You're right, I didn't have to," Dawn agreed.

"Look, Ni— Dawn, I can't undo what I've done. What I tried… Don't blame you for hating me. I deserve it. I can say sorry a million times over and I know it won't change a thing. But for what it's worth, I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt your sister it's just…"

"I believe you," Dawn said, surprising Spike. "She told me what happened between you guys. She told me she used you."

"Did she now?" He asked even more surprised.

Dawn nodded. "I kinda get why things turned out the way they did. I just can't believe she did that to you. How could she?" She paused before adding, "It still doesn't excuse what you did to her though."

"No, it doesn't," Spike murmured in agreement. "Look, your sis was goin' through a rough time. Coming back to life and all. Been there myself, you know."

"Still, that didn't give her the right to use you. You loved her and she took advantage of that."

"Yeah, she did. She's not proud of it, you know."

"I know. I was so angry with her when she told me. I just couldn't believe she did that. I was so angry with her, I practically hated her. For a while anyway. So, I don't blame you if you hate her." She said glancing at Spike, as she waited for his reply.

A beat passed before Spike responded. "I don't hate your sis. Yeah, I was angry with her. But, I just can't bloody hate her. No matter how hard I try. I just can't."

"So, does that mean that you, um, still love her?" Dawn wondered, as she stared at Spike, who lowered his head for a moment.

A second later, Spike lifted his head and met the teenager's piercing gaze. "Yeah, it does."

Spike thought he saw Dawn smile, but he wasn't sure because it disappeared as fast as it appeared.

"She cares about you know," Dawn offered.

"Maybe," Spike considered. "She's got other things to worry about though. Like this business with the First and…"

"The baby," Dawn finished for him.

"Yeah," He nodded. "The baby." His eyes had a faraway look for a brief instant.

"Spike, I, um, don't hate you anymore. I mean, I used to. I was really angry with you. But, I… well I am for sorry for…"

"Don't," Spike said loudly. "Don't ever be sorry for what you said. I deserved it." He shook his head. "No, I deserve much worse. I should be dust now but Big Sis wouldn't do it." He let out a cynical laugh. "She said she believed in me."

"I believe in you, too," Dawn said, earning an awed look from Spike. Before she could say anything else, the door to the basement creaked open.

"Dawn?" Buffy called out.

"I'm here," Dawn yelled.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked as she made her way down the stairs.

"I came to bring Spike some blood," the younger Summers explained, offering a smile that was a little too bright.

"I thought I told you not to come down here," Buffy said.

"I told her to go, but she wouldn't. She's a Summers woman alright. Stubborn as hell," Spike grinned.

Dawn grinned as well, but Buffy remained unfazed.

"Fine. Don't listen to me. Be vamp food." Buffy acted annoyed. "Oh, by the way, Molly's looking for you."

"Oh, really, well I guess I better go see what she wants. See ya later guys," She said as she made her way past her sister.

Buffy stared at her retreating sister, surprised that she had actually come to visit Spike. She supposed Dawn was starting to let go of her anger towards Spike.

"Rough day at work?" Spike questioned, prompting her to return her focus on him.

"Not so much. Just long," She replied.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Spike stared at her. She was standing straighter than normal, like when she was worried or nervous. She wasn't looking at him or anything in particular. She seemed to be lost in thought about whatever was troubling her.

"What's wrong?" Spike once again made an attempt to talk.

Buffy blinked as she realized she was daydreaming. "I haven't said anything."

"Don't need to. You're wired. I can tell. What's the matter?"

"It's Giles," She explained, although slightly annoyed that he could read her like book. "He…" She stopped for a second, as if changing her mind. "Did he come in here? Did he talk to you?"

"Haven't had any visitors. Except for the Nibblet," Spike answered, unable to control the slip of Dawn's nickname.

"Oh," Buffy seemed slightly relieved. "I.." her voice faltered. "I haven't talked to him since yesterday. Since I, um, told him about me being pregnant. I'm not exactly sure how he's taking things. I figured I'd give him time for it to sink in."

She sighed as she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. "According to Willow, he's been researching nonstop today. He's trying to figure out how the impossible was, well made possible. He, um, wants to see us now."

"Did he figure it out?" Spike questioned.

"I'm not sure. Willow doesn't think so. She wasn't actually involved in the research. She, Xander, and the Potentials all had research duty involving the First. Giles sent Anya to see if her demon contacts knew anything about the First or um, pregnancies involving vampires." She waited a beat before saying. "She got nothing."

" So, no info eh? " Spike shook his head. "I doubt this is something your Watcher's gonna find in those books of his. This is just, well unheard of. This is… a.."

"Maybe it's the First," Buffy suggested quietly.

"I was gonna say a bloody miracle," Spike stared at her, noticing sadness in her normally bright gaze. "Is that what you think? You think the soddin' First made this possible? Why the bleedin' hell would it do that for?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe to distract me. Or maybe it's using me as some sort of…"

"Some sort of vessel to bring forth its evil hellspawn," Spike finished for her, incredulity dripping from every word.

"Yes, maybe that's what I am. A vessel," Buffy considered.

"Are you even listening to yourself? You've been living too bloody long on this hellmouth."

"What the hell I am supposed to think?" Buffy cried out. "This isn't supposed to be possible," Buffy pointed to her stomach. "But it happened, and the First just so happens to be in town just when I'm pregnant. Coincidence? I don't think so."

"Have you ever thought it might just be a coincidence?" Spike retorted. "Or does everything in your life have to be some sort of bloody omen? I get it. You're the Slayer, you gotta stop all the baddies. But evil doesn't lurk at every corner, you know. Just let yourself go. Or is this some sort of excuse, to try to get rid of it?"

"No, that's not what it is," Buffy interrupted. "You really think I want to believe that something evil is growing inside me?"

"Dunno, pet. You tell me."

"Well, I don't." Buffy answered. She took a deep breath and then said. "I just… Look I really want to believe that everything's going to be fine. That this pregnancy is normal…"

Spike snorted. "Hate to break to you but there's nothing normal about this pregnancy. Look, can we just go and see what your Watcher has to say? Arguin' 'bout it isn't gonna get us anywhere."

"Fine," Buffy responded, realizing he was right.

She approached him, eyed him warily for a moment, and then reached for the key in her pants pocket. She quickly opened the shackles and moved away from him. Spike rubbed his wrists for a moment, before standing up.

"Do you really think this pregnancy isn't related to the First?" Buffy wondered.

"All I know is there's a chance it isn't," Spike responded as he moved toward the stairs.

Buffy followed him and minutes later they arrived at the dining room. They spotted Giles at the head of the dining room table which was covered by a plethora of books; there were even books scattered on the floor. Giles looked like he spent all day and night researching. His shirt collar was undone and his hair looked messy.

"Giles," Buffy called out to him announcing their presence.

"Buffy," He greeted the Slayer with his Watcher tone. And then proceeded to greet Spike with an even colder voice. "Spike."

"Rupert," Spike nodded in greeting as he took a seat, two seats away on Giles' right.

Buffy took a seat, one away from Giles, on his left. Before, anybody said anything Giles took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose as if to get rid of the fatigue he felt. Then, he put them on once more. He cleared his throat and stared at his former Slayer, whom he still regarded as his, and the blonde vampire.

"I'm sure Willow has already informed you that I have been researching your _condition_," Giles began, as he turned to regard Buffy.

Buffy nodded and Giles continued. "Well, that is what I have done all day. I looked through texts about vampire lore, mating rituals, well in short, everything that has to do with vampires. All research pointed to the conclusion we already know, vampires aren't fertile. I then turned to prophecies, to see if this event was somehow foretold, but I did not find any prophecies detailing this particular event. However, I did find one foretelling the birth of a child to two vampires. Apparently that prophecy, has already come to pass."

"What? A kid born to two vampires? That's even more ridiculous," Spike exclaimed.

"And we thought this was weird," Buffy mumbled.

"Was the kid evil?" Spike questioned.

"I don't know much about this child. All I know is that the child was born human," Giles answered.

Spike glanced at Buffy as if to say 'see not everything supernatural is evil.'

"Who were these vampires?" Buffy questioned.

Giles stilled for a moment, before answering. "Apparently, it's parents were Angel and Darla.

Buffy froze before finally saying. "W-W-hat?"

" I heard Darla got mojoed back from the great beyond," Spike commented quietly, then upon noticing Buffy's questioning gaze, he added. "When Dru last rolled into town, she gave me the family update. Apparently, she failed to mention that there was a new addition. Or I guess, Darla and Angel hadn't …" He trailed off.

Spike watched as Buffy processed the information that her former love, his grandsire, had a child with his great grand sire. She's probably wishing that she had been part of that prophecy, or that the child in her belly was the poofter's, Spike thought angrily. He almost wanted to vamp out at the thought, but he refrained from doing so. This was the first time he felt like his old self since acquiring the soul. But then just like that, nagging thoughts from his soul started seeping through his angry mind. Thoughts of how he didn't deserve her or the child and that she should be having the child of someone she loves, not someone she hates. He pushed them aside and put his focus once again on Giles.

"I," Giles began, unsure if to continue.

"Go on," Buffy instructed, after the news sunk in.

"I sent Anya to see if her demon contacts have heard anything relating to vampiric pregnancies but it yielded nothing as well. I'm afraid I was unable to find anything to explain why this pregnancy has occurred," Giles concluded. He then glanced at both vampire and Slayer. "There's only one thing left that I haven't done." He paused then said, "I have some questions for the both of you about the night of er, conception."

"Okay," Buffy said, as a blush spread through her cheeks.

Spike only nodded.

"Very well," Giles said, he then took on his glasses and began polishing them. "Did anything unusual occur the night of the, er, conception?"

Buffy's cheeks felt like they were on fire; she moved uncomfortably in her chair. God, this was not something she wanted to be discussing with her parental figurehead. And she thought telling him about being pregnant had been hard, this was going to top that. How she wished for an incoming apocalypse, anything to avoid this conversation. Fighting Glory all over again, sounded like heaven just about now.

Images of that night flooded her mind, which she was sure added more color to her already scarlet cheeks. Riley and his perfect wife, Sam had shown up in Sunnydale that night. Seeing how lovely and perfect their relationship was had made her feel like crap, so she went to the only person that made her feel better, Spike. She had wanted to pretend that she her life wasn't messed up, that she had a good relationship. It was the only night that she had allowed Spike to make love to her and now she was pregnant as a result.

Pushing away her thoughts, Buffy answered. "Well, there were these Su-molte demons and their eggs."

"Suvolte," Spike corrected.

"Whatever," Buffy muttered.

"Suvolte demons, you say," Giles murmured more to himself than to anyone as he put on his glasses and began to rummage through the books in front of him. "Would you mind handing me that book?" Giles asked Buffy after seeing that the book he wanted wasn't near him.

"This one?" Buffy lifted a large, green volume.

"Yes," Giles responded. He took the book from Buffy and immediately began perusing through its pages. "Here it is," Giles announced as he quickly skimmed through the text. "Apparently, these demons are rare and they tend to reproduce quickly. But not quickly enough to appease buyers in the black market. They are sought after by demons and people alike for their destructive capabilities." Giles considered the information." It does not explain why Buffy is pregnant."

"Well, there was this witch," Spike said, suddenly remembering something.

"A witch?" Giles queried.

"Yeah, she was holding the eggs," Buffy cut in.

Spike stared at the Slayer, she quickly mouthed 'don't say anything' which meant she didn't want the real story to be told. It was fine by him. He didn't really feel like explaining anything to the Watcher anyway.

"When me and the Slayer discovered the witch and _her scheme, _I saw that she did some sort of spell on the eggs. I suppose to make 'em more fertile or somethin," Spike explained.

"A fertility spell," Giles stated. He didn't say anything for a couple of minutes as he considered the importance of that information. "It seems that this fertility spell somehow must have affected not only the Suvolte eggs but Spike as well. And perhaps, you as well," Giles glanced at Buffy.

"So, you're saying that this fertility spell made it possible for me to get pregnant?" Buffy asked.

"It seems like this is the explanation we've been looking for," Giles answered. "Were you in contact with the demon eggs or the witch?" Giles asked her.

"Well, Spike, was more in contact with the demon eggs and witch than I was," Buffy admitted honestly.

Giles shrugged his shoulders in a 'there you go' gesture. "Somehow this spell must have altered something in Spike to at least make him temporarily fertile. And seeing as I believe you aren't aware of the spell used," Giles glanced at the blondes, receiving the answer he already knew he would. "I'm afraid I won't be able to find the exact incantation without having some sort of clue. There are hundreds of these sort of spells. Regardless, I really believe that this spell is somehow to blame for this..er, your pregnancy."

"So, you don't think it's like the First or anything?" Buffy asked.

"The First?" Giles repeated. "Why would the First be involved in this matter?"

"I don't know. Another part of its evil scheme?" Buffy explained.

Giles shook his head. "I don't think the First is interested in making pregnancies that aren't supposed to occur, er, occur. As far as we know the First's only interest is to destroy the Slayer line."

"Oh," Buffy visibly relaxed. She shared a look with Spike.

Giles glanced at his watch. "I have some calls to make. I have to see when more Slayers-in-Waitings will arrive."

And with that he left the room.

**A/N**: Don't forget to leave a review. Hope you guys enjoyed reading it.


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** Me own BTVS? Yeah right. Joss and his associates are the owners. I'm just borrowing them for a bit of fun.

**Feedback:** Reviews are what keep me going, so come on review. No flames though. I really appreciate that people have been putting me on their alert lists, but I'd also love it if you guys dropped a line.

* * *

Buffy groaned as she tossed and turned for the thousandth time in her bed. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. Its red digits glared at her, announcing that it was two o'clock in the morning. She had been awake for two hours now. She'd been surprised when she had fallen asleep earlier; apparently she had been more tired than she thought. She had awoken earlier to go to the bathroom, and since then she hadn't fallen asleep. Thoughts of everything that had been discussed yesterday, kept invading her mind preventing her from falling asleep.

Although she had accepted that the fertility spell helped make her pregnancy possible, a part of her was still scared that the First was actually behind it. She felt more nervous than usual and she supposed it was due to hormones, and the lack of slaying. Earlier, she had participated in a practice session that Giles had set up for the Potentials. Of course, that hadn't actually satisfied her need for killing things but it was something.

She couldn't believe that Angel had a kid with Darla. She had been shocked when she'd heard the news, not to mention somewhat jealous. She didn't really process the information at the moment since the meeting's main focus had been her own pregnancy. How ironic, he had been the one to tell her that vampires couldn't have children, that he could never offer her a normal life, and now he had a kid. Apparently, he had been destined to father Darla's child and not hers. The irony of the whole situation annoyed the hell out of her to the point of anger. He had left her because he claimed she needed someone normal that could offer her a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. It had angered her then that he didn't understand that she was the Slayer which meant that she was always going to be abnormal. In the early years of her calling, she had thought normalcy was possible but after Angel's departure, she matured and realized that the normalcy that other people had was never going to be hers.

She almost wished she could go to LA and confront him about his so called non-normal life, maybe throw it in his face the fact that she got pregnant by a certain bleach blonde. No, that would not bode well. She could just picture how he would react. He'd be angry, possibly jealous, and ready to stake Spike. Nope, that was not a good idea at all. It wasn't the fact that Angel had a kid that bothered her, it was just the irony of it. Although, the whole Darla thing definitely raised questions. Were she and Angel together? What happened to Darla being evil? These were questions she needed answers to; not because she was still in love with him but because she was curious and concerned about Angel. She'd realized a while back that she was no longer in love with Angel and although she no longer loved him, a part of her heart would always belong to him since he was her first love.

Suddenly she heard her stomach growl, breaking her away from her thoughts. She pushed the covers away from her body and placed her hand over her abdomen. Her stomach growled again.

"Someone's hungry." Buffy murmured. Lately, she had gotten in the habit of talking to her baby. She'd read in a book that Willow had given her that it was a good thing for parents to talk or to sing to their baby during pregnancy.

She received another growl in reply. "What are you trying to do? Get me fat?" Her stomach rumbled yet again. "Stupid question, I know. Fine, let's go get something to eat."

The truth was she actually hadn't gained a lot of weight although recently she had started to gain more weight. She gave her bump an affectionate pat and then began to rise. She stretched, and reached for her slippers that were near her bed. She slipped them on and padded across the room towards the closet. She opened the door and reached for her robe, which she put on and then left the room.

A couple of minutes later, she was foraging the kitchen for something to eat. She decided on eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once she was finished making her sandwich, she went to the refrigerator to get some milk. As she poked her head in the refrigerator door, she suddenly felt the need to eat something else besides her sandwich. She frowned as she found nothing that appealed to her. She grabbed the milk and put it on the kitchen island. She then opened the freezer and glanced at its contents. She saw a couple of Spike's blood bags along with some butter pecan ice cream. She stared at Spike's blood for a moment. For a split second, Buffy could have sworn she had a sudden craving to drink blood. She blinked and then it was gone.

"Mmm, Ice cream," Buffy said as she took the ice cream container out of the freezer.

She settled herself in a chair and began to enjoy her midnight snack. Fifteen minutes later as was putting a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, Giles appeared at the kitchen entrance.

She swallowed the ice cream and then smiled apologetically. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I just wanted some water."

He walked towards the kitchen cabinets, opened one, and took out a glass. He filled it with water and then took a seat next to Buffy. Silence filled the room along with an underlying tension that still remained unresolved.

"What are you doing up?" Giles asked as he raised his glass to his lips.

"I couldn't sleep. I had the munchies."

"I see. You had cravings."

"You could say that."

Buffy licked her spoon as she finished her last spoonful of ice cream. She began sliding her spoon in the last remnants of ice cream.

"Giles, are Dar- I mean, how was it even possible for Darla to…"

"Carry a child?" Giles finished for her and received a nod in turn. "Well, because of the prophecy, although it wasn't possible for her to give birth."

"What do you mean it wasn't possible for her to give birth?" Buffy frowned.

"She didn't give birth. According to my sources, she staked herself in order for the child to be born. She was a vampire and because of that her body could not function the way a human woman's body functions during child birth."

"Oh," was all Buffy could say.

"I realize that I've given you a lot of information to take in and, I suppose I could have tried to make it easier. Hearing about Angel…"

"Giles, I'm fine. " She interrupted. "It's just, you're right it is a lot of information to take in." She paused briefly. "Angel and I, we don't belong in each other's worlds anymore. He's living his life and I'm living mine. This news was really unexpected but I'm okay with it."

Giles didn't say anything, instead he continued drinking his water.

"Buffy, I…" Giles began after he finished drinking. "This isn't what I wanted for you. Spike is not…"

"I'm not with Spike."

Giles stared at her. "Perhaps, you are not with him in a relationship, but you are carrying his child. A child that will connect you to him forever regardless of your involvement with him. I don't believe having Spike around you or your child is wise. He's a vampire and nothing will change that. And apparently, the First seems to have plans for Spike. You may have prevented the Bringers from taking him but we don't know what the First will have him do. We can't have him around here. He is not only a danger to you but to everyone in this house."

"He's not dangerous," Buffy protested. "We just need to figure out how to detrigger him. He has a soul now. He can help us. You said it yourself, the First is unlike anything we have ever faced before. We are going to need all the help we can get. "

"Buffy," Giles tried to interrupt but Buffy ignored him and continued. "You know it's true. Even if I wasn't pregnant, I couldn't do this by myself."

"But what if we can't undo the First's hold on him?" Giles considered. "What will you do then? Are you willing to kill him? I can assure you that the First will do anything in order to make sure it wins its war."

"Then, I'll do what I must," Buffy replied. "I'm not staking him, not now. And nobody else is, okay?" She stared at Giles, her face serious and determined He sighed and nodded although it was clear he wasn't thrilled with the idea.

She stood up and placed her dirty dishes in the sink. She heard Giles rise behind her. She turned around to find Giles coming towards the sink as well. She moved to the side and allowed him to deposit his glass in the sink.

"Very well, I will look for a way to detrigger him. You should try to rest some more. Good night, Buffy," Giles said as he left the kitchen.

Buffy didn't make a move to leave the kitchen, she just stayed where she was. She wondered if Giles wasn't secretly glad that the First was around since it seemed to provide a reason to kill Spike. She would not do that if she could help it. There just had to be a way to detrigger him.

She sighed and decided to head back to her room although she really didn't want to go back to bed. Suddenly, she heard a noise that seemed to be coming from the basement. _Spike. _She wondered what he was up to. He was probably restless just like her, since he couldn't do anything. She hated having him chained up. Okay, maybe she didn't mind having him chained up if she could have her wicked way with him. _Bad Buffy_, she berated herself for letting herself think dirty thoughts about Spike. But of course, he wasn't chained up for that reason. He was chained up for a no fun, precautionary measure.

She went to the basement door, opened it, and descended the stairs. "Spike," she called out. "Is everything okay?"

"Everythin's fine," Spike answered. He was sitting, back pressed against the wall.

"Has the First tried to control you?" Buffy wondered as he approached him.

"No, not anymore. Not since that last episode."

"That's good." Buffy stated.

Spike lifted an eyebrow. "Any particular reason why you're up?"

"I was hungry," Buffy responded. "And I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither," Spike said with just a touch of a smirk.

"We're going to work on detriggering you. I know sitting tight isn't really your thing but for now, you have to." Buffy said apologetically.

"S'alright. I think I can handle this. I've gone through worse forms of torture," He grinned at her. " 'Sides I still don't think I should be here. The First…"

"Spike, stop. We've been through this before. I believe in you and we are going to find a way to stop the First's control over you," She said.

Spike stared at her surprised, to hear those same words coming again from her mouth. She made a move as if to leave but she didn't. It seemed like she wasn't ready to go yet. Instead, she got even closer to the cot, and Spike scooted farther onto the side of the cot allowing her space to sit down if she wanted to. She gave him a rare smile in thanks and sat down in the vacant space provided for her

Suddenly, Buffy seemed to find the floor interesting. Her eyes followed spots of dust on the ground.

"Why did you store those eggs in your crypt?" Buffy finally broke the silence. She never asked that night. She had been too focused on breaking it off with him since she finally felt strong enough to do so.

Spike didn't say anything at first. "I told you the truth that night. I really was holdin' 'em for a friend. We were goin' to split the profit. 'xcept of course I didn't take care of the eggs properly, he never showed, instead you and the soldier boy did."

"So, you did it for money?" Buffy stated more than asked what she had known all along.

"Yes, but it's not what you think. I didn't do it for me. I did it for you."

Buffy stared at him in disbelief.

Before she could speak, Spike hurriedly explained. "I couldn't stand to see how that job of yours was killin' you. That burger joint was beneath you. I had to do somethin'. I couldn't let you keep on workin' there, like there wasn't any place better for you."

"It was killing me," Buffy admitted quietly. "But even if you had received the money. I never would have accepted. I just couldn't have. I mean, I would have eventually found out where it came from."

"I guess deep down, I knew you wouldn't. But I couldn't just sit there and watch you wither away because of that job." An ironic smile crossed Spike's face. "Looks like I've given you another type of problem instead of helping you. Guess that's the only thing I'm good at."

Buffy's hand immediately flew to her abdomen. "This isn't a problem. I've told you already, I want this baby. I was freaked out when I heard the news, I'm not going to lie. I still am actually. But I've been dealing and I have accepted it. But, I'm starting to think you're the one that doesn't want this baby."

"What?" Spike exclaimed. "Course I bloody well want this kid! I know I don't deserve it, but I want it anyway. I haven't changed, Buffy. I still love you and anythin' related to you which includes the tot inside of you. You on the other hand, don't. I'm just having a hard time acceptin' this."

"I don't hate you. I already told you." Buffy reminded him.

All of a sudden, Buffy froze for a minute. Spike stared at her curiously. "What's wrong?"

"It moved," She stated softly. Her eyes contained a mixture of daze and awe as she stared at Spike.

"What?" Spike asked, confused.

Buffy ignored him. Instead, she remained quiet as if she were waiting for something. Minutes ticked by until suddenly, she used one of her hands to loosen the sash of her robe while she reached Spike's hand with the other. Spike could only gape at her as he found his hand being pressed underneath her shirt against the flesh of her abdomen. And then he felt it, what she had been talking about. His baby. No—theirs. He always heard the baby's heartbeat echoing after Buffy's, but to actually feel the baby move underneath Buffy's skin, it was something else. A torrent of emotions washed over him; he had never felt anything like this before. And that's when it hit him, he was really going to be a father.

He stared at Buffy in awe, who also appeared to still be in a daze with a huge smile on her face. He could feel his own jaw muscles twitch into what he was sure was an idiotic smile but he couldn't care less. For the first time since acquiring his soul he was genuinely happy.


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **Joss and his associates are the owners of BTVS, so don't sue me. I'm merely borrowing them for a bit of fun.

**Feedback:** Don't forget to review, it's what keeps me going. No flames though. Thanks to everyone who reviews. I really appreciate it.

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Buffy stood at the front porch watching the group of Potentials that had accumulated over the course of the last two weeks. They were chatting, trying to sound excited about the vision quest that they were going to go through once they reached the desert, but the truth was there was an air of uneasiness and sadness. Just days before, Molly and Annabelle were killed by Bringers and their spilled blood was used to bring forth a Turok-Han, an unusually strong vampire. Molly and Annabelle had just gone out for walk around the block in broad day light when they were ambushed by Bringers. Nobody at Revello Drive had even noticed that the two teens had been missing until it was too late.

Buffy had never thought that the Potentials would be in danger during the day; she was accustomed to danger coming out during the night. And that it was why she had made it clear that they could not venture into the streets during the night unless it was with someone from the Scooby Gang, preferably Giles, Spike, or her. Apparently, they had only taken part of her rule into account. They had not ventured out in the night as she had instructed but they had failed to take someone from the Scooby Gang with them. She hadn't made it clear that the part of the rule also affected day time outings; she had hoped they would have realized it on their own. She had been wrong.

She had felt sad and guilty when she first heard about the girls' death although she didn't have much time to contemplate it since the Turok-Han appeared the next day. Spike had tried to fight it but he failed to destroy it. He had managed to stake it but the Turok-Han didn't dust and he barely managed to escape it. The Turok-Han had proven to be a difficult adversary and with it brought much fear and a big research party. The other newly arrived Potentials' fear increased tenfold upon hearing the deaths of their sister Slayers-in-Training and the arrival of an ubervamp; as if they weren't scared enough as it was already with the Slayer being pregnant and not really much of a protector.

Buffy had hated the fact that the girls had died just around the corner from her house and also that she felt so useless, and that is why with Willow and Spike's help, a plan was devised so that she could avenge the death of the girls' and give the remaining girls hope. It was actually Dawn, who had suggested albeit jokingly that she should switch bodies with Spike so that she could have a crack at the ubervamp. And that it was what they did, although Xander, Giles, and Spike weren't very supportive at first. She was sure Spike could have taken care of the ubervamp by himself but she really wanted to take that vamp down herself. Even though, it hadn't been her body that she had used during the battle, she had fought with the intention of showing the Potentials what she was capable of and to show that the war against the First wasn't hopeless. She succeeded in defeating the ubervamp although she wasn't too sure about the latter. Sure, they seemed to have regained hope but she still couldn't help but hear their comments when they thought nobody was hearing them about how they were doomed.

She didn't blame them; if she had been in their shoes she would have been just as freaked and probably thinking the same thing. It didn't matter if she was pregnant or not, because the fact of the matter was she was just one Slayer and she was dealing with the force that created evil. Something she couldn't touch or fight and that was the worst thing.

Yesterday, Giles had said that he was going to speak with Wesley about bringing Faith out of jail. Buffy hadn't been too pleased with the idea but Giles had argued that they needed all the help they could get and that desperate times called for desperate measures. He had also pointed out that she had said it herself that Faith seemed to have changed the last time she saw her in LA. Begrudgingly, she caved in although it wasn't clear when Giles' and Wesley's plan would take effect.

"Buffy," Giles called to the blonde Slayer as he appeared by her side.

"Hey, Giles. Ready to do the hokey pokey?" Buffy asked, a small tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Giles frowned. "Not particularly. You really shouldn't have described my part of the ritual in such a matter to the girls."

"I'm just telling them the truth," Buffy smiled.

Giles sighed and surveyed the scene of the Potentials who were now piling into his car. "I'm not sure how I'm going to survive this trip. I don't think the girls nor I should be taking this trip. I should be here in case something happens. I just don't feel right leaving you and the others here."

"We'll be fine," Buffy gave him a reassuring smile. "Anya's sources said that the First is in remission. Sounds like a good thing in my book, at least for now anyway. It'll give the girls a chance to get comfortable with fighting and weapons. Besides, the girls need this trip to relax and just forget, the First, at least for a little while."

"Quite, right," Giles agreed. A second later both Slayer and former Watcher jumped upon hearing the car's horn.

"I guess they're roaring to go," Buffy stated.

"It seems so," Giles said. "Very well, I shall see you when I return."

"Bye, Giles," Buffy said as she hugged him in farewell.

He returned the hug and then made his way towards his car. Buffy watched as the girls seemed to be having some sort of argument in the back seat and Giles started berating them. She laughed, thinking that it was going to be a hell of a trip for Giles. Five minutes later, Giles managed to get the girls calmed down and he drove off.

"Good riddance."

Buffy turned around to find her younger sister grinning.

"What's a matter? I thought you liked having more sisters around the house. You know so you could have more people to talk to, get on their nerves, maybe get homework help from them," Buffy teased.

"And share my room and the bathroom? Yeah right. I'm so over the whole Brady Bunch thing."

Buffy laughed. "Me too. Finally the bathroom, all to myself."

"I call dibs on it."

Buffy groaned. "Not fair."

"You snooze, you lose." Dawn stuck her tongue out. "Hey, you know what, I'm gonna go take a bath right now. It's been far too long since I've had a good soak."

"Go ahead."

And with that the teen went inside the house. Buffy took in a deep breath before heading inside herself. She spotted Xander taking a nap on the couch and quietly she went to the kitchen where she found Spike seated with a mug. She had been letting him out of his chains at least when she was around since the First hadn't made an attempt to control him anymore. The search for a way to disable the First's hold on him had temporarily been put on the back burner since they got sidetracked with the Turok-Han.

"What are you drinking?" Buffy asked.

Spike stared at her, raising an eyebrow in a gesture that seemed to say 'what do you think I'm drinking?'

"Oh, right," Buffy mentally slapped herself. "Blood."

She hadn't really talked to Spike much since the night she first felt the baby move inside her. Sure, she talked to him during the training sessions he helped out in with the Potentials and during the whole bodyswitching thing, but she avoided as much as she could having a real conversation with him. She didn't want to give him the impression that she wanted them to be back together, or rather have an actual relationship this time around. Although a part of her was annoyed at herself for acting this way since she had already made it clear to Spike that she didn't want a relationship with him and just wanted him around for the baby. It seemed like Spike got the message, but the paranoid part of her kept telling herself that she had to act this way.

She was vaguely aware that she was staring at Spike as he drank his blood, but for some reason she couldn't keep her eyes away from the mug he held in his hands. She could see the steam rising from the scarlet liquid and she suddenly felt the need to have the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, to have it cascade down her throat.

"Buffy?" Spike paused from drinking his blood.

Buffy ignored him as her gaze remained fixed on the mug in Spike's hand. Before Spike could stop her, she snatched the mug away from him, spilling some of its contents on the counter. Quickly, Buffy raised the mug to her lips and started drinking it.

Spike could only stare at her in shock as she downed the mug. "What the bleedin' hell are you doin'?"

Buffy's face mirrored Spike's shock as she stopped drinking and let the mug drop to the floor, breaking into tiny pieces. " I- I-I don't know. I just… I wanted to d-d-drink blood. I don't know why. I just needed to."

"You had a craving for blood."

" I-I. guess so," Buffy mumbled. "Oh, God." She ran both her hands through her hair, still not quite believing what was happening to her.

"Has this happened before?" Spike wondered, still staring at her.

"No," Buffy denied it but then she thought better of it. "Um, not exactly. Well I kind of did feel like drinking blood once before. That night I first felt the baby move, but it was for a second. It wasn't like just now." Buffy glanced down at the mess on the floor. "Not like a full on craving."

Before Spike could say anything, Xander appeared at the kitchen entrance. "Buffy, what happened?" He glanced suspiciously at Spike.

"Just dropped me mug is all," Spike answered for the Slayer, who still seemed to be in shock.

"Is that what really what happened?" Xander asked Buffy, ignoring the vampire's look of annoyance.

"Huh? Oh, yes. He dropped it."

"Are you sure?" Xander frowned. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine. I just need some water." Buffy said, as she went to the cupboard and took out a glass.

"Okay," Xander relented although he felt like he had just missed something. "I'm going to go back to my nap. Out in the living room, just a couple of feet away." He glared at Spike as he left.

"You do that," Spike mumbled as he started picking up the broken pieces of the mug.

Buffy drank water, feeling it cleanse away the taste of blood in her throat. She couldn't believe she had drunk blood let alone enjoyed it. Even now, she couldn't force herself to spit out the last remnants of blood in her mouth although it seemed like her cravings were curtailed for now. She almost felt like a vampire except she didn't have control of when she wanted to feed; unless she was compared to a fledging. But then again she had been able to exercise control over her bloodlust all those years ago when she had become a vampire temporarily as a result of that boy in the coma; so she was capable of controlling her cravings unlike some fledglings. Just days ago she had been able to control her bloodlust while inhabiting Spike's body. She remembered vividly how it felt to be a vampire.

"_Are you ready,Buffy?" Willow glanced at the Slayer anxiously and received a nod in reply. Willow in turn gave a nod indicating she was ready to proceed. She took a deep breath, grabbed some herbs, and began to chant in Latin._

_Buffy took one quick glance at Spike, who was standing directly in front of her before closing her eyes. She heard Willow's chanting and began to lose her herself in the witch's voice. Suddenly, she felt a sudden pull_ _and then she knew she was no longer in her own body._

_She could tell immediately she had switched bodies unlike that time she had switched bodies with Faith. Without opening her eyes, she found herself already knowing a wealth of information about the people in the room. She scented four humans in the room, three of them female and one male. She could scent nervousness as well as hear four heartbeats, no five. _

"_Buffy?" She heard Dawn's questioning tone. _

_She then opened her eyes immediately and turned around to the voice in question. Dawn was staring at her worriedly, but all Buffy could think about was about sinking her fangs into the younger's girl neck ._

"_She's staring at my neck!" Dawn exclaimed as she backed away from Buffy in Spike's body._

"_Buffy, stop you have to reel the demon in. Don't let it control you. Concentrate. Focus on keeping it at bay," Spike quickly instructed in Buffy's voice._

_Buffy then turned to Spike. It was odd to see herself and yet not be in her body, but those thoughts soon left her mind as she found herself vamping out. She suddenly felt the need to lick her fangs as she glanced at herself, no Spike. She moved forward and she found herself grinning when Spike didn't even back away. _

_She could hear Spike's heartbeat begin to race although he was trying to remain indifferent on the outside. She could also hear a second heart beat coming from him and that made her even hungrier, _

"_What are you doing? Buffy move," Xander protested. "I mean Spike."_

"_I know what I'm doing," Spike replied, his eyes never leaving Buffy's._

_Buffy growled as she grabbed his hand and pulled him forward; he didn't even fight her hold on him. She took a whiff of his scent as she got dangerously close to his neck. She could smell the scent of lavender shampoo, her lavender shampoo. She then leaned close, her mouth just centimeters away from his neck._

_Spike tensed. "You don't want to do this."_

"_Why not?" Buffy found herself speaking with Spike's voice. Despite the nervous pounding of Spike's heart beat, she could scent something in him that wasn't fear. And then it hit her what she was smelling, arousal._

"_Because of this," Spike answered. He quickly grabbed her hand and placed it on his stomach. Buffy then glanced down at their hands interlaced over Spike's, no her stomach. And that's when she started to focus on the second heartbeat coming from Spike's body. She closed her eyes, trying to block out thoughts of biting Spike or anybody, and then her demonic features faded._

"_I'm fine now," Buffy muttered as she opened her eyes. She still felt the demon's hunger but it no longer dominated her thoughts. She was in control now._

"_Are you sure, Buffy?" Willow asked. "I mean, if you can't control Spike's vampire instincts, I should probably switch you back."_

"_No. Don't switch us back. I've got it under control. I can do this." Buffy replied as she took a step back from herself or rather Spike._

"_Am I the only disturbed by this?" Xander commented, as he glanced at the blondes. _

"_I thought it was kind of sweet," Dawn said._

_Xander looked at her confused for a moment. "I was talking about the Buffy and Spike switcheroo."_

"_It's kinda disturbing," Dawn agreed. "But kinda cool at the same. Can I try it sometime?"_

"_No," Buffy immediately answered, earning a roll of eyes and a giggle from the teenager._

"_I've always wanted a brother," Dawn grinned. _

"What is happening to me?" Buffy finally spoke, shaking herself out of her thoughts. "The baby. Oh God. I-I-t wanted me to do this. I don't understand."

Spike threw the broken pieces he collected into the trash and then went towards Buffy. "We're going to figure it out, Buffy. Everything's gonna be alright. Guess this proves the platelet's really mine."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she considered his words. "D-D-Do you think it's because you're a vampire? Does that mean the baby is a vampire? But Angel's baby was born human. I don't get it, why would…"

Spike let out a yell as he clutched his head with both of his hands. He dropped to the floor, never letting go of his head. A couple of seconds later, he lay still.

"Spike, what's wrong?" Buffy said as neared him.

The vampire didn't say anything prompting a frown on Buffy's face. "Spike?" She then finally heard a low moan in response.

"Spike, what is it?" She asked once more.

"The chip," he managed to answer.

"The chip?" Buffy repeated. She crouched down to Spike's level and noticed that blood was dribbling from Spike's nose.

Once more Spike screamed in pain as another shock ripped through his brain.

"What the hell is going on?" Xander arrived at the scene along with Dawn.

"What's happening to him?" Dawn asked concerned.

"It's the chip," Buffy murmured.

Spike shook his head as the pain wore off. He struggled to stand but Buffy helped him to his feet. A half an hour later, Spike was still suffering from headaches and nosebleeds.

"So what are we gonna do? Spike's chip seems to have reached its limit and there's nothing in these books or on the net." Dawn wondered as she shot a quick glance in the direction of Spike, who was lying on the living room couch.

"There's only one option left," Buffy replied. "Riley."

"Riley?" Dawn and Xander echoed at the same time.

"Yes, he left me his number in case I ever needed to reach him."

"Buffy," Xander began but then he bit his lip. "Alright, I'll get you the phone."

Xander brought her phone and she went to the number. A couple of minutes later, Buffy replaced the phone on its cradle none too gently.

"It's a government conspiracy I tell you," She announced, as she glared at the phone.

"What happened?"the teenager asked.

"Apparently this is a number to a flower shop, but I don't buy it. It's probably one of those government things where they pretend you aren't calling a government number but you really are calling one but you have to know the secret password in order to get access."

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Dawn asked worriedly. "He's a vampire, I know, but he can't last like that forever, right?"

Buffy averted Dawn's gaze and replied, "No, he can't."

* * *

Hours later, Buffy watched Spike as he slept in his cot. Gently, she ran a wet cloth over his forehead removing the dried blood that rested there. His face radiated a peace that she had never noticed before and it was a stark contrast to everything that he had gone through over the last several months. She removed the rag from his face, and took a moment to stare at him. She had never really taken the time to really look at him, not even during their affair. She hadn't allowed herself to do so because she couldn't admit that what was occurring between Spike and her was real. She had wanted to deny that she could feel anything for a soulless vampire since she couldn't even feel anything for herself. She had hated him at times because he was undead and yet could feel more than she could when she was the one with the beating heart. Despite her mistreatment and denial of feelings, she realized in the end she did care of him and tonight she almost lost him.

She peered over him, studying how his dark lashes rested against his cheek bones, the way his cheeks hollowed, and how his hair was all curls and unruly. He was so beautiful. She blanched at the thought of how she pummeled his face the night she thought she had killed Katrina. Gently, she placed a finger against his nose and then began to trace the slope of his nose down to his lips and around his chin.

"I'm sorry," She murmured, although she knew he wouldn't hear her. He had been knocked out cold thanks to the sedatives the military guys had provided when they removed his chip.

It turned out she had been right; the flower shop was a front to reach the military. She was just glad Riley had gotten the message and had sent help. The doctor had said that if Spike hadn't received help when he did, he would have been dust.

She had been given the choice of installing a new chip or just removing his chip. She had decided for the latter, she trusted him now. She knew Giles wouldn't like it but she didn't care. Spike had a soul now; she was sure that would keep him on the right path. Besides, spending a day in Spike's shoes had given her more insight into Spike increasing her trust in him. She'd always known blood was a part of a vampire's life but she had never realized the control Spike always exercised over his demon. She'd never even thought about how he never tried to bite her during their affair, knowing how she was the only one the chip didn't react to. Despite the mantra in her head that kept telling her during that time that he was a soulless evil vampire, she had subconsciously trusted him, fangs and all. It had never really hit her until now, how Spike loved her soul or no soul and it scared the hell out of to think that Spike loved her soul or no soul. It was something that she did not want to think about although she was glad that he was among the living, er undead.

Buffy yawned. She frowned, not quite wanting to go to bed. In the end, she gave in. She brushed back Spike's hair from his forehead and gave him a quick kiss there.

"Good night," She murmured.


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** Me own BTVS? Would I really be writing this if I owned BTVS? Not bloody likely, but then again if I were Joss, a very passionate fan of his own creations then there is a possibility since he can't let go of his characters (then again neither can I, lol). But no people, I'm not Joss, so I don't own them. Joss and his lovely friends are the owners of BTVS, I'm just borrowing them for a bit of fun so don't sue me.

**Feedback:** I really want to know what you guys think of the story so far. No flames though. Thanks to everyone who reviews, really appreciate it.

**A/N: **Sorry, for the long wait. Happy Thanksgiving! I was gonna wait until I finished the other chapter but I'd figured I let you guys wait long enough. So enjoy!

* * *

"This is pointless," Rona grumbled as she walked beside Vi in one of Sunnydale's cemeteries.

They were there for training and Rona was walking along the path like it was not a big deal for two teenage girls to be in the cemetery in the middle of the night with stakes in their hands. Rona held hers loosely, while Vi held hers tightly, apprehension etched on her face. Rona on the other hand looked mostly annoyed although there was a slight trace of fear on her face.

"No, it's not," Vi disagreed.

Rona gave her a look.

"I know we're not Slayers but we need training. This is the kind of stuff our Watcher's are supposed to teach us," Vi explained.

"I never had a Watcher," Rona reminded Vi. "And besides even if we train there isn't a guarantee that the next Slayer is among us anyway."

Before Vi could offer some kind of a reply, she was tackled from behind. Vi screamed and squirmed against her attacker but it did no good, his grip was too strong.

"Help!" Vi yelled at Rona as she continued to struggle.

It took a couple of seconds to register in Rona's brain what was happening.

"That's it this one's dead," Spike declared letting go of Vi, before Rona even made an attempt at helping her friend.

Vi turned to face her assailant. "Hey," She frowned. "That hurt."

"Look you're not taking a bleedin' stroll, this is a trainin' session. So, I suggest you start payin' attention to your surroundings," Spike chastised them.

Rona could only looked at him defiantly, arms crossed with one hand holding a stake loosely. Vi had gotten up and was dusting her clothing.

"As for the pain. Get used to it. We're in a war, people get hurt. The only thing you don't want to be is dead."

Spike suddenly glanced over Rona's shoulder. "Looks like there's a chance to get some fightin' after all."

Rona and Vi both whirled around simultaneously. Two tall vampires were making their way towards them. One of them was wearing a blue and black plaid long sleeved shirt and jeans while the other one was wearing a Rage Against the Machine band T-shirt and jeans.

Both girls looked scared and they began to back up towards Spike.

"Come on now. It's time to show what you've learned," Spike said as he backed away from the girls' inching closeness.

"We can't fight vampires," Rona groaned.

"It's what you've been trainin' for," Spike stated. "And yes you can."

"Look at this, two young sweet things," the vampire wearing the plaid long sleeved shirt grinned.

His companion also grinned as he looked Rona and Vi over. "Mmm, delish," He grinned.

"Mind if we take a bite?" He asked Spike. "And if you do, we're just gonna have to change your mind. Right?" He glanced at the plaid guy who responded with a nod.

"Be my guest. Take 'em," Spike said, shoving the girls toward the vampires and then proceeded to back away.

Vi and Rona could only stare at each other as fear overcame them. Blue plaid vamp grabbed Vi, who was the nearest girl to him. He snatched her and she immediately let out an ear piercing scream which made him laugh with joy. He tightened his arms as he held her towards his fangs. Vi struggled and moved her head upwards connecting with the vamp's chin. He groaned in pain and she took the opportunity to jam her elbow into his ribs. He let go and she scrambled out of his grasp. Her heart was pumping and she was shaking slightly. She wasn't sure if it was because of the fear or the adrenaline that was beginning to surge through her.

Rona on the other hand was still struggling with her attacker but before Vi could attempt to help her, the blue plaid vamp came at her again. She evaded his grasp as he made a grab for her, and then kicked him in the knee which didn't faze him. She then punched him in the jaw and began to do a series of kicks and slaps as the fight progressed. Rona by this time had escaped her attacker's clutches and was also battling against him.

Spike watched from afar as the two girls fought or rather tried their best to fight with the vampires. They were just two young girls who had no business fighting vampires and yet they had to in order to prepare for the First. They should have been home wherever it was that they came from and doing normal girl things instead of fighting vampires. It annoyed him that they had to be doing this. Buffy hadn't been pleased with the idea either but she knew there was no other option, the girls couldn't just sit there being coddled, they needed to know how to defend themselves even if they were just regular human girls. If the rest of the Scoobies had learned to fight including Dawn then so could they.

"Looks like they're not doing too bad."

Spike turned behind him to see that Dawn had joined him.

"Now, they're doing better. Shoulda seen them at the beginning."

Dawn snorted. "I think I saw worse. Chloe, Sarah, and Chao Ahn we're a total mess but somehow they managed to kill their vampires. Well, with a little help from Xander and me. "

"You're pretty amazing you know. You really handle yourself well in a fight."

"I'm learning from the best aren't I?" Dawn smiled, proud of herself.

"That you are," Spike agreed. " Your Sis will probably go down as one of the best Slayers in the history of the Chosen Ones."

"I also meant you," Dawn elaborated. Ever since her attempt at trying to make amends, they had been talking and they had even started training if there was some time to do so since most of the training was for the other girls. She participated once in a while but the truth was she was busy with work and school, so she couldn't always be there.

Spike glanced away from her, not acknowledging the compliment.

"Hey! Look, they did it!" Dawn announced as she stared at the spot where Rona and Vi had previously been fighting vampires.

Vi could only stare at the spot where the vampire she had been fighting used to be stand. Slowly, her line of sight moved toward the arm with the stake. It was trembling slightly, just like the rest of the body. She stared at it numbly before a smile slowly broke out on her face.

Rona on the other hand, was sitting on the ground, arms around her knees. She was shaking her head unable to believe what had just occurred.

"I did it," Vi mumbled to herself. She then looked at Rona.

"You did it too," Vi added.

"Yeah, I did it," Rona agreed, not quite believing the meaning of the words.

"We both did it!" Vi exclaimed, grinning proudly and within seconds Rona was grinning as well.

"You guys did a good job," Dawn smiled at the girls.

"Not bad," Spike agreed. "For your first time but you guys still need more trainin'."

"But you guys did better than the other girls," Dawn added. " I mean I didn't see all of them, but from the ones I watched. You guys were way better."

"Hey! So, that's where you guys have been. Is the training over?" Xander called from across the cemetery. He was being followed by Anya, Chloe, Chao-Ahn, and Sarah.

"We're done," Dawn answered and waited until Xander was close before she said anything else. "We just finished. Well. they just finished with the slaying. We, or rather Spike, was just gonna give Vi and Rona a lesson about their mistakes."

Vi and Rona didn't seemed too pleased with the idea.

"Can't we do that tomorrow?"Vi wondered. "I mean we're exhausted. We just slayed our first vampires. It's a lot to take in you know."

Dawn glanced at Xander and Spike, "She has a point."

"So, Anya and I had to go over our group's mistakes too," Xander pointed out. "Which you missed out on since you ditched us." He shot an accusing glare at Dawn.

"Which is not fair," Anya joined in.

"You guys are the teachers. I'm merely the teacher's aide," Dawn replied.

"Willow and Buffy, not done yet?" Spike cut in.

"You mean they haven't been by here. We haven't seen then since we split up," Xander responded.

Spike frowned. It seemed like it should have been enough time for the girls to have their training session.

"Look there's Willow and the other potentials!"Anya pointed towards the area behind Spike and Dawn. "But no Buffy."

"Hey guys," Willow greeted.

Kennedy and Amanda waved, they were both grinning. It was pretty obvious they had been successful in slaying their vampires.

"Where's Buffy?" Spike immediately asked.

"Oh, she left," Willow responded, but before she could continue Spike interrupted her.

"She left? By herself? Where did she go? You weren't supposed to let her out of your sight," Spike started to berate the red head.

"Spike, would you calm down. Let Willow explain," Xander interrupted the blonde vampire. "What do you mean she left?"

"It's not like I wanted to leave her by herself, but she insisted she needed to do this by herself. Besides, she and the baby are safe now. She's under a protection spell, remember?" Willow responded, referring to the protection spell she had cast two days ago. She had cast it in order to make sure the baby would not come to harm if anybody tried to attack Buffy.

"Where is she?" Spike demanded, uncomfortable with the idea of Buffy being alone even if she was under the protection of a spell. After all, spells didn't always work out.

"She went to visit Mrs. Summers' grave," Willow responded quietly.

"Mom," Dawn whispered. "Buffy hasn't been there since the almost apocalypse with Willow. Sorry," She shot the red head an apologetic look.

"It's okay, Dawnie," the witch said.

Spike began to walk in the direction where Willow, Kennedy, and Amanda had come from.

"Spike, where are you going?" Xander asked.

Spike just quickened his pace ignoring the brunette man.

"He's going to get Buffy," Dawn answered for the departing vampire.

* * *

It didn't take him long to reach Joyce's grave. He knew the spot pretty well. He'd visited it often during the summer following Buffy's death. During those days of pain, it had often brought him comfort being near Buffy's grave as well as Joyce's. Joyce had always treated him with kindness and respect, something he hadn't experienced since his time with his mother. Dawn being the only other exception. Of course, it was different that Mrs. Summers actually talked to him with respect because she was older and should have known better. Dawn was just a young kid when she met him, and he always knew it was her youth and innocence that prevented her from seeing what he truly was. Nonetheless, he appreciated Dawn's friendship as much as Joyce's although in different ways. Joyce's was that of a mother while Dawn was that of a sister.

He noticed Buffy when he was about half a mile from the Joyce's grave. She was kneeling, head bowed in front of the marker. A single white flower lay in front of the head stone. He waited a few minutes before approaching her. When she finally stood, he started making his way towards her but before he could call out to her someone else beat him to it.

"Buffy," the Slayer quickly turned her head in the direction of the voice calling her. Buffy froze upon noticing who had called her. Her throat immediately began to constrict as she stared at the familiar figure of her mother. The familiar shade of golden hair that she always remembered her mother sporting seemed to shine with a heavenly glow along with the white robe that adorned her body.

"Mom?" Buffy finally managed to whisper.

"It's me honey," the heavenly figure of Joyce confirmed.

"I, uh," Buffy mumbled unable to process the fact that she was staring at her mother.

Joyce gave her a gentle, comforting smile.

"It's okay, honey. It's me. I'm here," Joyce reassured her daughter. "I've been listening to everything you've been telling me just now. I couldn't just listen to you and not say anything. I mean, I may be," She paused briefly, a look of pain appearing in her eyes before continuing. "gone but I needed to talk to you one last time. You're still my baby, always will be and a mother can't ignore her baby girl when she needs her."

"How?" Buffy asked in awe.

"How?" Joyce smiled. "You're a Slayer and you ask how? Well, it's thanks to the Powers. They've granted me this one chance to speak to you. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you." She approached her daughter, stopping until she was within hugging distance.

"Buffy, I know you've been going through tough times. I've been watching you and your sister. And I'm afraid it's only going to get harder. I've seen you do amazing things, time and time again to save your friends and world. You have even sacrificed your own life for your sister. You've made me really proud. A mother couldn't have wished for a better daughter."

Buffy couldn't help but smile fondly at her mother.

"But lately, you have disappointed me," Joyce said.

The Slayer's smile quickly evaporated, "W-What?"

"Don't act surprised. You were just saying it yourself a couple of minutes ago, you were afraid that I wouldn't accept you after what you have done. Buffy, I wanted better for you. Instead your once again whoring yourself to vampires. Honestly, I though you learned your lesson with Angel, but I was wrong. And now you're actually having a vampire's child and to think you're wishing I was around to help you raise that bastard?" Joyce cried out indignant, earning a gob smacked expression on Buffy's face. "I'm glad I'm dead and not having to deal with more of your mistakes. Especially this one."

"Don't listen to her. She's not your mum. Joyce would never say that."

Buffy turned to see Spike had arrived. She briefly noticed pain and anger in his eyes, before returning to face her so called mother.

"And how would you know, _Spike_?" Joyce asked, glaring at the vampire.

"Please, you may look like her but you sure as hell don't act like her. Might not have been one of her favorite people, but the Joyce I knew treated me with respect. She was decent and kind unlike you. She loved her daughters and she'd never treat 'em like that."

"He's right. You're not her," Buffy managed to find her voice. "You're the First."

Joyce managed to look pained for a second. "Oh, honey. Now, you take his word over your own mother?"

"You're not my mother," Buffy spat out angrily as she backed away from the First.

Joyce let out a cruel, taunting laugh as her form began to shift in a whirl of colors until a replica of Buffy stood in her place. "Nope that wasn't your mommy," the First in Buffy's form smirked. "It was fun while it lasted though."

"Just shut up," the Slayer bit out.

"My, my we're a bit grumpy, today aren't we? Must be the hormones," the First laughed, crossing its arms. "I gotta say that's a nice little army you got there," the First paused then continued. "A little army of bunch of scared little girls. How does it feel to play Mother Hen to them? Enjoy it while it lasts because they're going to be dead soon including you, and your lover. It's a pity, you won't actually get the chance to be a mommy to your own kid." The First let out a harsh laugh that began to morph into a loud, distorted cackle as the image of Buffy disappeared from Spike and Buffy's view.

"Bastard," Spike growled.

"Let's go," Buffy mumbled, turning in the direction where Spike had come from.

Spike followed her, remaining silent for a few moments before saying. "Buffy, you alright?"

A beat.

Spike attempted to place a comforting hand on the Slayer's shoulder but just as his hand reached her shoulder, she stepped out of his reach.

"Don't let the bloody First get to you. I know it's tough, but messing with people's heads is all that bloody wanker can do. I should know, it's been messing with my noggin' for a while now."

"I know," Buffy responded softly. "I just wanna go home. I'm tired."

Spike gave her a sidelong glance at her uncharacteristic response. "Right, then."

* * *

Minutes later, they rejoined the rest of the Scooby Gang and the Potentials close to the entrance of the cemetery. Buffy instantly dismissed her friends' concerns, withheld her encounter with the First, and continued on as if nothing had happened. During the walk home, the Potentials chatted away about their first vampire slaying while the Scooby Gang and Spike remained quiet. When they arrived home, Giles greeted them.

"Giles, you're back!" Willow grinned in welcome.

"Yes, I've made it back from my trip," He replied.

The teenage girls quickly dispersed into the kitchen, and other areas of the house, leaving only the Scooby Gang in the living room.

"Did you get it? The detriggering thing?" Buffy asked, straight to the point.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did," the ex-Watcher answered.


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **Joss Whedon and co. are the owners of BTVS, not me. Just borrowing them for a bit of fun.

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone has been reviewing and adding me to your alerts. I really appreciate it. Many of you have been forgetting to leave a comment. It's what keeps me inspired, so don't hesitate to do so. No flames though.

Happy Holidays! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

"So, the First knows you're having a baby?" Willow asked, squeezing the pillows in her arms close to her chest, her chin digging further into their soft fluffiness, a frown breaking out across her features.

"Looks like," Buffy replied from her perch on the edge of her bed, eyes solemn.

"There's no hiding anything from the First, is there?" Dawn couldn't help but state what everybody was thinking.

The three women were gathered on Buffy's bed. Willow was leaning against the left half of the head board while Dawn was on the opposite side. Buffy on the other hand was directly across from Willow, on the edge of the bed.

They were discussing the events that Buffy hadn't told them regarding the First's unwelcome visit in the guise of her mother. Last night hadn't been the time nor place for such a discussion. Not that Buffy had even felt like discussing it. Nope, far from it. The anger and pain had been too raw for her to even try to materialize her feelings into words. Besides, she'd never been much for discussing her feelings.

"It's not like this was something we could hide. The First was bound to find out," Buffy pointed out.

"I can't believe it used Joyce, to try to get you. I mean, duh, First Evil and all. He tried to use Tara against me but this is just..." Willow shook her head disgusted.

"I guess, it was the First talking to me back then," Dawn acknowledged, referring to the time Joyce appeared to her when everybody was getting an appearance from the First. She glanced from Witch to Slayer. "I really thought it was her. She wasn't mean to me; she just said she needed to warn about something. The way the whole thing started was pretty freaky, but I figured it was really Mom trying to talk to me."

"It's okay, Dawnie. We've all been there. The First is pretty convincing," Willow gave the teen a consoling pat on her shoulder.

"I know," the teen mumbled then suddenly scooted towards her sister, and reached for her hand.

"You know whatever the First said to you, it isn't true."

"Ditto, for you too." Buffy said.

"Yeah, I know that now. But it's not as bad as whatever the First said to you," Dawn remarked."Mom would have been pretty freaked hearing that you're pregnant. Supernatural pregnancy or not. But come on, it's Mom. She would have gotten over it even if it is Spike's baby. You know, she's always liked Spike."

Ignoring the twin stares from the older women, Dawn continued,"She did. Spike, Mom, and I used to hang out all the time drinking hot cocoa with the little marshmallows, Spike loves so much. And, even if I wasn't there, Mom would let Spike in because she liked talking to him. Sure, she got scared when Spike admitted he loved you, but that was only because of the whole Angelus experience. Of course, you never noticed this because you were too busy with slaying and Riley and the whole Spike is evil thing."

The teen squeezed her sister's hand. "I'm sure Mom would have loved to be here, helping you."

"Dawn's right," Willow chimed in. "Joyce would have supported you no matter what."

Buffy reached forward and enveloped her sister in a hug. When she pulled away, Dawn studied her. Were those tears in her sister's eyes?

"Are you crying?" Dawn asked, staring at the blonde.

The Slayer shook her head even as she wiped her eyes with her hands.

"Buffy," Dawn murmured.

"Sorry, it's just…"

"You miss Mom, right?" the teen supplied for her, receiving a nod as a reply. "I miss her too."

All of sudden it was all if a dam broke, tears started to stream down Buffy's face. It was unexpected considering Buffy had seemed pretty composed earlier.

Dawn immediately embraced her sister. She'd never really considered how the absence of their mother was affecting Buffy now that she was pregnant. She'd briefly thought about it when she first found out, but afterwards it hadn't really been on the forefront of her mind. The truth was she had grown accustomed to living without her mother. It wasn't that she didn't think about her mother; there were many times when she couldn't help but wish she were still with them. But she knew that no matter how much she wished for her mother's return, it wasn't going to happen. She had accepted the situation a long time ago.

God, she was so stupid; of course, this would be hard on Buffy. Then again, Buffy was pretty good at hiding her emotions; she always did it because of her Slayer duties. Ever since she learned about the First and his plans, Dawn knew it was too much weight on her sister's shoulders. As usual though, Buffy put her best face forward despite the enormous task given to her. The current impending doom was unlike anything the Scooby Gang had faced before and that's what Dawn had figured was constantly on the Slayer's mind, preventing her from enjoying her pregnancy. The reality was that that was the real threat to her sister's pregnancy, but underneath the desire to have a baby under non-apocalyptic conditions, her sister like any first time mother wanted their own mother to be by their side.

Dawn glanced over at Willow, who looked sympathetic.

"It's okay, Buffy," Dawn whispered.

"We're here for you," the Witch added.

Buffy couldn't help the sobs that escaped her. "I'm sorry," she mumbled between sobs.

"I didn't mean too. I really don't know what came over me," she apologized as she pulled away from their hug. She began to wipe her eyes.

"Must be my hormones," she smiled shakily. "The doctor did mention something about them being unstable."

"It's okay, Buffy," Willow assured her as she, too, embraced the Slayer.

Suddenly a knock turned everyone's attention to the door.

"Willow? Anya says to come to the living room. She says she needs your help explaining something," Kennedy's voice came through the door.

As Willow pulled away from Buffy, she shot the blonde an apologetic look.

"Go, I'll be fine."

"But, Buffy…"

"I'm fine, really. Go, Anya needs you," Buffy urged her friend to leave.

Reluctantly, Willow left the room leaving the Summers sisters alone.

"You know it's okay to miss Mom," the teen began, "and to show your emotions. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Look who sounds like an adult," Buffy remarked, feeling better.

"Buffy," Dawn warned her sister.

"I know," the eldest Summers replied. "I always miss her."

Dawn decided to leave the conversation at that. "I'm always here for you."

"I know," Buffy said, as she hugged her sister in thanks for her support. "Thanks"

After their hug ended, Dawn caught a glimpse of the clock on her sister's night table.

"I forgot, I have to go to work today," Dawn exclaimed as she jumped off the bed.

"Well, you better get a move on," Buffy said.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Buffy found herself finishing up a chicken breast salad. She was glad that the Potentials were locked in a meeting with Anya, Willow, and Giles in the living room. She needed some free time away from those teenage girls. She quickly washed her dish but before she left the kitchen, a bunch of papers held together by magnets caught her eye. Funny, she hadn't noticed them as she prepared her salad. She must have been too hungry to notice anything except food. As she peered over them, she realized it was Andrew who had stuck them there. They were messages warning people to keep away from his food.

"THE LAST HOTPOCKET is MINE! DON'T EAT OR YOU SHALL BE CURSED—Andrew" read one message.

Buffy shook her head in disbelief; this problem had been going on since Andrew was allowed to roam free. It seemed that no matter how many messages Andrew posted, the girls still ate Andrew's food.

Satisfying her curiosity about the messages, Buffy decided it was time to check up on Spike. Giles had given Spike a Prokaryote Elixir, to detrigger the First's hold on him earlier in the day. It was supposed to act as a catalyst to help the user discover the cause of the trigger. It wasn't clear whether the elixir was working or not because Spike hadn't been forthcoming with the details surrounding the song the First used to brainwash him. He just mentioned that it was an old song his mother used to sing to him, but she noticed he was a bit defensive, like he was hiding something. Giles had said that only Spike could release the trigger's effects which is why she decided to leave him alone, so that he could do that. She hoped he had been successful; there was only one way to tell if he was still under the First's control, playing that old song.

Not a sound stirred as Buffy reached the last step of the basement stairs. Did Spike go out? Buffy wondered. It wasn't unusual, occasionally he ventured out into the world to relax for a little while. The lamp's glowing light indicated otherwise as she found him sleeping on his cot. She peered over him, mulling over the idea of waking him. At first she thought he was sleeping peacefully, but upon closer inspection she noticed his face twitched every second or so, and his hands were balling into fists.

"Spike," she called out.

He didn't seem to hear her, instead his movements became more erratic. Spike seemed to biting his lip as his face contorted into a look of pain.

"Spike, wake up! Stop, you're having some kind of nightmare," Buffy persisted, ignoring the idea that it was part of the elixir's mojo.

Seeing that her words still had no effect, she placed her hands on either side of his shoulders and began to shake him, but he still didn't stir.

"Wake up!" She cried out frustrated.

"Okay, fine. I really don't want to do this," She mumbled as she released her right hand's hold of his shoulder and prepared to punch him.

Just as her fist was about to make contact on his cheek, his arm shot up blocking the blow, golden eyes glaring at her. His fangs glistened in the light reflected from the lamp, and angry growls erupted from his chest.

"Spike?" She questioned while her heart began to race against her chest.

He only growled in response which prompted her to resist his grip on her arm. It was strong but after a brief struggle, she jerked her hand away from him and fled the cot immediately. He jumped up, reaching out for her, but just as his arms made the faintest of contact with her right hand she landed a hard kick on his chest, sending him crashing against the cot, onto the floor.

Buffy immediately started searching for something to restrain him.

"Buffy," she suddenly heard the vampire mumble.

"Spike?" Buffy eyed him warily.

He lifted his face showing that his game face was gone, his lip was bleeding where he had indeed bit his lip, but there was no indication in his cerulean eyes that he was unstable.

"Are you alright?" Concern immediately appeared on his features. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine," Buffy answered, still cautious. She wasn't sure if he was suffering from amnesia like he always did after the First's control, or if he was baiting her or if he was genuinely concerned about her.

"Sorry 'bout that. The elixir is still in my system. Can't bloody sleep without…" Spike trailed off, pain clouding his eyes.

Buffy stared at him. "So, the elixir is still working? You just haven't managed to come to terms with whatever the First is using against you?"

The vampire looked away from her questioning gaze, confirming her suspicions.

"You can't let the First win. You can't let it control you. You have to fight it, Spike."

"Don't you think I bloody know that? 'm tryin' but the images just won't stop comin'," Spike retorted.

Confident that he was in control, Buffy slowly kneeled beside him. Although her belly wasn't extremely large, the added weight on her small frame made kneeling difficulty. Once she was settled, she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Spike," she spoke gently, aware that he was agitated. "Remember what Giles said, the elixir is just supposed to show what is allowing the First to control you. It's up to you to make sure the First won't be able to use it anymore. You have to let go of whatever it is."

"You can do this. I have faith in you," she smiled at him, as she raised her free hand up to his bleeding lip. Tenderly, she rubbed her thumb over his lip.

"You're bleeding," she murmured, her gaze focusing on the blood trickling from his lip.

"Buffy?" Spike gazed at her quizzically.

She didn't answer, all train of thought gone from her brain, she brought her lips towards his. Eagerly, she licked at the blood seeping from the small cut on his lip. For an instant Spike let her, but then upon realizing what her intentions were, he started pushing her away. Determined, she maintained her hold on him by placing both of her hands on his cheeks, bringing his mouth even closer to hers. Eventually he gave himself into the kiss as her tongue sought entrance into his mouth. He could taste his blood on her tongue but he ignored it as he enjoyed the feel of her warm tongue invading his mouth. God, how he had missed her taste.

Just as quickly as the kiss had started, he felt Buffy pull away from him. She was panting hard, green eyes wide with shock.

"I…." she stammered.

"Was it the blood?" Spike wondered, knowing full well this wasn't like her.

But before Buffy could reply, her eyes suddenly fell shut as she leaned forward, falling into his arms.

"Buffy?" Spike cried out, but as he tried shaking her awake, he, too, slumped unconscious.

* * *

Darkness met Buffy's eyes as she opened them. Where the hell was she, she wondered as she blinked, trying to adjust to the darkness. The last thing she remembered was…her eyes shot wide open as she remembered kissing Spike. Damn it. She hadn't meant to do that, but seeing the blood on his lip once again stirred her blood cravings. Third time it's happened, okay, so maybe she seriously needed to talk to Giles about it. She needed to quit getting sidetracked, this was important. Of course this time it had occurred under enjoyable circumstances. She couldn't help but mentally berate herself for that thought.

Pulling herself away from her thoughts, Buffy realized she was lying down so she carefully stood up and tried to make out her surroundings, but all she could was blackness. She sighed, wondering what mess she had gotten into this time. She started walking and calling out to anyone, who might be in the vicinity.

"Anybody home?"

She didn't receive any replies.

Suddenly, she spotted a beam of light in the distance. Right away, she walked towards it, careful, not to walk too hurriedly because of her limited vision. At her arrival, she found Spike sitting down on the floor, his peroxide head resting on his knees, arms crossed over legs.

"Spike," she called out to him as she approached him.

She could make out indistinct mumbles coming from the vampire as he began to move to and fro to their beat. All of a sudden, he raised his head allowing her to make out what he had been mumbling.

"Didn't mean to do it."

"'m a bad man."

"S'not what I wanted. Please, please… Really I didn't…" Spike shook his vehemently at whatever imaginary figure was in his head.

Insane Spike again? No it couldn't be, unless this was all part of the elixir's effects. Then it dawned on her, she tasted Spike's blood which contained the elixir. Was she in her own head or Spike's? She wasn't exactly sure how this thing worked or what would happen to a person who ingested that wasn't suffering from mind control?

"Stop it!" She cried out, trying to make him lucid.

He continued mumbling.

"Spike, you have to fight it," she urged him. Was this what he had been experiencing this entire time? Last time he was insane he hadn't been able to fight against it until he left the basement thanks to her. She wasn't about to let him down.

"Didn't mean to do it. S'not what I wanted."

"What didn't you mean to do? What wasn't what you wanted?" He continued to ignore her, but once again she repeated the questions.

"Didn't mean it…" he was mumbling when all of sudden, he returned her gaze.

"What didn't you mean to do?" she asked calmly. "You can tell me. It's okay."

He continued staring at her, unsure of whether he could he tell her.

"It's okay, tell me."

"I…" he started, but unexpectedly he began to fade away.

"Spike!" Buffy cried out only to watch him fade into nothingness. The scene was quickly replaced by a living room with nineteenth century furniture. A fire roared in the fireplace underneath a large portrait of a dark haired man resting his hands on top of a blonde woman's shoulders, who held a dark haired boy in her arms. The little boy looked no older than four and he looked adorable with his curly, brown hair and bright, blue eyes. She noticed that the woman's eyes were also the same shade; those eyes, they looked so familiar. _Spike's eyes._ Buffy realized as she continued staring at the portrait. Could this have been his living room? She wondered when she sensed someone enter the room.

She turned around only to freeze in her tracks. It was Spike, but not exactly the Spike she knew. His hair was his natural brown color, curls flowing gel free, and on the bridge of his nose rested wire rimmed glasses. He was dressed in a tan suit and a pair of dress shoes.

She was speechless. This man couldn't be Spike, could he? He was the total opposite of the Spike she knew. As he walked into the room, he bumped into an arm chair, he winced and cried out. This Spike was clumsy, unsure of himself, nothing like the vampire she knew.

Realizing she needed to stop staring, she started. "Spike?"

He paid no attention to her as if he couldn't see her. Instead he called out for someone, who turned out to be a young servant, who brought some tea and then quickly left. When he spoke to the girl, he noticed he spoke with a soft accent almost Giles like. Nope, this was not Spike at all, this was William.

He inspected the tea and once he was satisfied with it, he left the room and returned a minute later with an older woman with graying blonde hair clutching his elbow. Buffy immediately noticed her startling blue eyes. _Spike's mother_, the woman from the portrait albeit much older.

By now aware that this seemed to be some sort of scene from Spike's past, she watched with curiosity as the scene unfolded before her. Spike had never told her about his past, not that she'd ever wanted to hear it anyway. However, she did recall that one time at the Bronze when Spike explained to her how he killed the two Slayers. He had given her a brief history about himself but she honestly hadn't paid much attention. She did remember him saying "What can I tell you Baby, I've always been bad" and something about some girl despising him.

As she continued to watch William and his mother, she realized it had all been a smokescreen. He treated his mother with the upmost respect and care; it was obvious that they were really close. They were chatting about mindless things when William's mother requested to hear some of her son's poetry.

Poetry? Who knew he had been a poet, she watched amused as William began to recite some poetry. Although she hadn't been an English major in college, she was well aware that William's poetry was no Shakespeare, far from it actually. Nonetheless, real passion shone in his cerulean orbs as he tried to put emotion into the words escaping his mouth. His mother beamed and praised him once he was done. Real pride and adoration radiated from her being.

"Oh, William that was lovely. Was that written for the Underwood's eldest, that Cecily girl?" his mother asked, a knowing gleam in her eye.

He denied it, embarrassed. It was obvious to Buffy that he'd written it for this Cecily girl, the one she vaguely recalled him telling her about all those years ago. The conversation between mother and son continued, revealing that William did not have a girlfriend and that his mother wished he had one. William, however, managed to turn the conversation back to his mother, saying something about how his mother was the woman the in his life. It was sweet yet kinda sad. Then she began to sing the song that the First always used to control Spike.

_Early one morning,  
Just as the sun was rising,  
I heard a maid sing,  
In the valley below._

_Oh, don't deceive me,  
Oh, never leave me,  
How could you use  
A poor maiden so?_

Without warning, William's mother started coughing. It was a loud, continuous cough that indicated that she was ill. William jumped up from his position at the foot of her feet, and immediately grabbed a pitcher of water. He filled a cup and handed it to her; she took it shakily and sipped it. But as she returned it to him, another fit of coughs erupted from her chest, taking out a handkerchief, she coughed into it. Once the coughs subsided, she removed the handkerchief away from her face, blood stains all over it.

Buffy gasped, as memories of her own sick mother flooded her. She wondered what was wrong with her.

William looked appalled. "Shall I call a doctor?"

"It's fine, really."

Buffy blinked as she found herself in a bedroom lit by candlelight, William was nowhere in sight but she spotted his mother resting in the bed. She approached the bed, noting under the candlelight the woman's paleness. Sympathy stirred in her heart for William and his mother.

She heard faint whispers coming from the hall outside. She walked over to the bedroom door that was slightly ajar, and peeked through. William was talking to an older man with a moustache, holding a bag, whom Buffy guessed was a doctor. The doctor looked serious.

"As I've told you, the only thing you can do for her is keep her warm and content. I'm afraid there isn't a cure for her consumption," the doctor said solemnly as he placed a comforting hand on William's shoulder. "Just remember to be mindful of her and to give her cough syrup when her coughing fits get strong."

William sighed. "I see." It was painfully obvious he had been through this many times before. Buffy's heart went out to him, she knew how it felt. For an instant, she recalled the night he had comforted her when she found out about her mother's illness. All this time he'd known how it felt to have an ill parent.

William then accompanied the doctor out while Buffy turned her attention back to the woman in the bed. How exactly was the First using Spike's mother against him? She wondered as she studied his mother. She admired the woman's gentle and loving nature; it seemed like she would have been a wonderful lady to know.

She tensed as she felt someone behind her. As she slowly turned around, a warm sensation filled her.

"You're..." Buffy stammered as she did a double take, making sure William's mother was still in the bed. She was but this new figure also bore her likeness.

"Anne," the woman smiled kindly at her.

"No, it's the First," Buffy said disbelievingly, determined not to fall for the First's tricks again.

The elder woman shook her head. "I'm not the First. I'm William's mother or Spike as you know him."

The woman continued when Buffy didn't say anything. "I realize your distrust is not unfounded but I truly am, Anne."

"I'm not falling for that again," Buffy said.

"You're beautiful," Anne continued unfazed. "I see why you've captured my son's heart. I've no doubt my grandchild will be just as beautiful." She reached forward and placed her hand on Buffy's stomach.

"Please, help him realize that..." Her image started to diminish. "I will always…" Buffy could no longer hear her voice, but she was pretty sure she made out Anne saying 'love him.' She gaped at the spot where Anne had just been moments ago. She had actually felt her hand, if it had been the First, she shouldn't have been able to that.

All of a sudden she witnessed a variety images: Spike becoming a vampire and turning his mother, and then Anne the vampire confronting her son.

"You wanted me inside you, isn't that what you always wanted," Anne the vampire cornered her son, trying to kiss him all the while her son refusing her, disgusted.

All William wanted was to keep his mother alive, Buffy realized as she watched Spike look horrified at his mother's cruel words and actions. Once again, Spike 's actions indicated that he was unlike other vampires. She didn't dwell too much on that thought as she watched him stake Anne, destroying the horrible monster he had created. As the demon turned to dust, Buffy swore she saw a serene Anne appear briefly.

The sole beam of light amidst the darkness she had encountered when she first arrived in Spike's mind reappeared along with crazy Spike, sitting on the floor.

"Didn't mean to," he mumbled.

"Spike, look at me," Buffy commanded.

Anne's words echoed in her mind. _Please help him realize...that I will always love him."_

He refused to do as she ordered.

"I know what happened," she began. "With your mother."

Slowly he met her eyes.

"She was sick wasn't she?" He nodded in reply."You wanted to make her better didn't you?"

"I did, that's all I wanted," he answered, regaining a bit of his sanity.

"I know how you felt," she said sincerely. "I wanted to do whatever I could to make my Mom better."

"Joyce," he murmured.

"Yes , that was my mom. Your mom was..."

"Anne," he supplied.

"What did you do to try to help her?"Buffy probed.

"I..." his voice faltered.

"What did you do?" She pressed.

"I turned her into a demon like me," he finally admitted, shame filling his features.

"She..." Tears sprang to his eyes. "Tried to...She wasn't the same. She didn't.."

"She didn't what?" Buffy asked.

"She didn't ... She hated me."

His admission hung out in the open; the shame and pain he experienced due to his mother's turning clear as day for Buffy to see.

"Spike, she didn't hate you."

"She did," he said confidently. " She told me all those things."

"It wasn't her."

"It was.."

"No, it wasn't. It was the demon talking. Your mother would never have said those things. Think about it. "

Spike was silent as she neared him and placed a finger under his chin, forcing him to look at her.

"Listen to me. Your mother loved you. "

"She. Loved. You." She repeated it, emphasizing each word.

"She loved me," he repeated, acknowledging her words.

"She did," she continued to reassure him.

"She loved me," a genuine smile broke out on his smile.

Relief filled Buffy as Spike finally made the realization that his mother loved him, the next thing Buffy knew was that she resting against someone. She opened her eyes to find the familiar sight of her basement. The someone she was resting against shifted so she turned her head to find herself staring into Spike's eyes.

"Buffy?"

She pulled away from him although she remained seated beside him.

"You were there," He said, recognition dawning his features.

"Yeah."

"Looks like the First's hold is over," he noted. "Thanks," he murmured, seeming almost embarrassed.

"There's only one way to find out," Buffy said.

She began to sing the song his mother used to sing to him. It really was a simple song that she had no trouble memorizing.

_Early one morning,  
Just as the sun was rising,  
I heard a maid sing,  
In the valley below._

_Oh, don't deceive me,  
Oh, never leave me,  
How could you use  
A poor maiden so?_

Not once did he give any indication that the song was affecting him.

"It's over," she declared, glad that he was finally free.

**A/N:** Any ideas on how I should include Wood in the story? I already have some ideas regarding Faith and to a lesser extent, Wood. I'm open to ideas for both characters. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. My longest one, yet. Boy, I'm tired.


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